Ha ha ha....no.

I went with Claire and her friend Olivia to get Olivia a canteen card. I waited for a while, but it was ok. I overheard these two girls talking while waiting in line. One of them said, "Isn't there that thing that will kill us all tomorrow?" At first I thought they were talking about school, but then I remembered that CERN was turning on the first like... thing... for the LHC collider tomorrow. And people think it will cause a black hole and all that. I think that's a stupid idea, and I hadn't even heard of that idea until recently, but then I thought about how if my dad didn't work for CERN, I guess it would seem like CERN could be evil. I dunno. It'd all be about perspective. There's that word again; perspective. I also sat near Claire more today, which was really awesome. I sat behind her and Olivia next to this British girl that knew French. Claire reminds me of my friends. She's that type of person, I learned today, that has high self-esteem (she jokes about how she's perfect) and confidence. And she asked me what the word in English was for when your neck in like sore and stuck. (Crick) It was so awesome, 'cause also we talked about how the other male English teacher was slightly weird. She also asked me to say "Natalie" because I guess her and her friends were arguing whether or not Americans say it like NAT-alie. I said it like, "Natalie", closer to "Nadalie". Anyway. And I also walked with Jess to some classes, which was capital A-Awesome. I had always dismissed walking with a friend to class as granted, but now it seems like a luxury. Ah. Just like being able to talk English when going to a restaurant. Can't wait to do that!

I didn't do the math homework for today, but finished it in like 5 minutes in class. I didn't know I had homework, but I guess I just wasn't paying enough attention. Math is going to be easy this year I assume because the French system is behind. So I get to learn positives and negatives again! What. Fun. Well, doesn't help to review. But a waste of time. I got like one question wrong. It was hard. And it's annoying, 'cause the French use a comma (,) as a decimal point. And they put plus signs and negative signs on like everything. For example, they'd say 

(-12)+(+5)=whatever. But yeah. The teacher seems ok, but I don't think he knows English. I sat next to this small girl that knew French and English, so she helped me with stuff. It was pretty easy though. And then we have a spelling test in English next week. We were given a list and have to spell all of those words (it's about 20 words). But dude, they are so easy. A few of the words are "woman", "possession", "actually" and like seriously. The only one I had somewhat trouble with was miscellaneous. But I can spell it now. 

Music was.... musical. The teacher asked me a question about time signatures, and I spent 5 minutes making myself look like a balderdashing idiot. The answer was 9/8 time, but I mean I just didn't get the names of the notes in French. A whole note is like "marron" or something. But at least I survived. We have to sing this song about October. The guy gave me the words, and even then its hard. I picked up the words "man", "flower", "October", something about the colors dazzling or whatever, and like white. But hey, I tried. I try in all of my classes, even if I look like an idgit. Anyway.

After music was Spanish, and I had to, first thing in the class, read part of the text book. God. I failed pretty much. I had practiced reading it a little, but wasn't pronouncing every letter and I was too quiet. Hey, it's pretty darn hard learning 3 languages, ok? And I am learning English because of the language arts-like class. Anyway. I have to memorize the numbers, some dialogue and stuff and stuff for tomorrow. Sigh. But at least it's only a half-day. I suppose I don't "hate" school anymore. But it still sucks. My legs are so dang sore all day from walking fast back and forth from school. I worry. I often just stand by myself in between classes and am still shy.

I saw Zach standing around between classes outside. He was talking to this guy. So he made some friends. He might be able to go back into 10th grade, the one he's supposed to be in. My mom said an advantage of going into 10th grade would be that he'd be like the only guy with sideburns and a lower voice so he'd have lots of girls chasing him in 9th grade, but he wouldn't be "unusual" like that in 10th. I just rolled my eyes.

Two of the people that have blogs I read are writing a book. I wish them good luck and say good job. I want to write a book. A few ideas came to me today, but it could just be an autobiography. Like a huge, life-ly journal. With like all of my ideas and thoughts. We're studying autobiographies in English, which is cool. And then as soon as the opening riff to "Superman" by Lazlo Bane (Becca's playlist) I got sad all of a sudden, and just had the intense feeling to just get the hell out and be free. Me live. Me be happy. Me go back home and just fly. Because all of it is is work, worry and stupid stupid not happy. This isn't for me. I can't... I don't want to do this. Can't we just live in now and not work on future and working your butt off to get in a "good college"? Don't tell me it's really really important; one of the most important things. Because I'd rather feel like smiling than feel like school is life. This is really hard for me. It's like the definition of "ugh". I can't live like this. Seriously. I've only gone outside to walk between buildings and from school to my house. I'm not happy for long periods of time and the happiness isn't... natural. It's like I know it's happy now, but I have stuff later that probably isn't happy. But then again this isn't even bad. Perspective, again. See my earlier post ("Purse-peck-tiv") for my thoughts on that. 

What I need is a re-thinking and plan for human life and an ice cold coke while we're at it. 'Cause this isn't working. Oh and Becca, Anthony, Jenny, Alex, Miyako, Hannah, Clare, Danny, Emma, Tina, Ana, Erez, Oren, Lorri, Nick, Sam, Pascale, Katie, Amy, Ms. Smith, Ms. McKenzie, Mrs. Dorer, Mrs. Davison, Chester and all of you guys. 

I. Want. To. Get. Out.