Thursday, September 11, 2008

As of Late

Yesh, it's yet another post on my blog. I imagine it might be a little hard to keep up with all of these somewhat long posts, but I suppose it'd be good to take care of boredom. What can I say? I'm bored, stressed, have thoughts I have to write down and have a blog. It fits. Plus I'm a writer. And writers write. I hate to break it to you people, but that's what they do.

Speaking of writing, my mom read(s) my blog. She is probably even reading THIS sentence. Then she of course had to talk to me about my  blog, and now she knows like everything. But she mentioned that she noticed I wanted to write a book. Which I do. And so she said that this, this blog, was my book. And yeah I guess it sort of is. It's sort of acted as my journal, my outlet for when life gives me limes. Yeah I'm still waiting, life. I'll tell you guys about it when it happens. I've been waiting for them limes for a while now. Actually, I haven't hadOK back to what I was saying, she said I could publish this book and sell millions of copies or whatever. (Chuckles) That's a good joke, mom. No but yeah. I'd have to revise it and stuff... but you know what? Just whatever. I'ma just keep writing on here and see what happens. If anything. But I do also want to write a fictional book. I have a few ideas and yeah but yeah.

Hockey practice. There was this guy near the crosswalk that we passed that gave us a freaky look as we drove by. He just stood there near the road, giving us a blank/slightly mad/confused look and followed the car with his head, which along with the 9-o'clock darkness created a somewhat unnerving sense. But I was still excited. I mean, hockey. But I was tired. And I was going to get like 7 hours a sleep tonight. 

The practice was awesome. That other woman wasn't there so I had a whole locker room to myself. We did some passing drills and stuff, some of which I sucked at. Then we played 5-on-5 which is always awesome. I gave up the puck a lot and made a ton of mistakes, but whatever. And, let me remind you, these guys are like at least 6-foot and can skate friggin' FAST. And then that one guy is like teh Doctor Deke. If you don't know what I'm talking 'bout, just look up "hockey deking" or whatever. 

But hey it was still fun. I ran into this guy on my team by accident. It was like I deflected the puck back into our offensive zone, and so I just drifted closer to the offensive zone when suddenly there's white in front of me, and I fall down. I heard a loud, "OOHH" from the benches, and I smiled. The guy said sorry and asked if I was ok in a French accent, to which I replied with, "yeah sorry no I'm ok". And I was ok. I just got up and skated back on the defensive. It takes a lot to make me give up in hockey. 

Sometimes, during the 5-on-5, people would be hesitant on my team to take the face-off. I never did, because me on face-offs = no. I've never actually tried taking a face-off in ice hockey, but I mean, seriously. My chances would be close to zero in girl's hockey, but here they're like a negative number.

Also during the 5-on-5, this one guy said my name to tell me to change. I was like, "How do you know my name?!??!" but I didn't mind. That was cool. I almost feel bad for this team though because some "small girl" with like no skills has to be on their team. But whatever. Girls hockey will be easier when I come back... maybe.

So then we got to stay a few minutes after taking penalty shots. I didn't score on mine, (that would be pretty much impossible) but I wasn't even really trying to. I was just trying to practice skating and going up to shoot. My aim = no. And my slap-slot also = no. I actually hadn't tried before that night, but I didn't want to kill myself. I tried a few slappies. I didn't die. They weren't that powerful or aim-ful, but I didn't fall over like this one guy did. There were only like 5 guys on the ice after the original practice ended. It was like 11:30. Was I going home? HEX no. Me + free ice rink + puck and stick = no limits. That's like my favorite thing ever; just doing whatever on the rink with a puck and stick. I practiced skating and shooting, which was mediocre at best. But I was surprised how non-sucky I was at skating with the puck. But my wrist shot needs work. So does my transition from backwards to forwards. But I had fun. My dad had borrowed a stick from someone and tried skating with the puck with it. My dad... is not the best skater. But he has potential. 

I got to bed at like 12:30. My stick needed a new taping. I'm using white tape this year, because it matches my blue and white stick. I used to use blue, then black. Then I used both. Melted ice was dripping off the end, along with my forehead. I was tired. But I still wanted to have my eyes open because it's just better to see those lights. That was a weird sentence. But I wanted to still see the red and yellow streaks on the lake, see the dots in the middle of a black windshield. I did go to sleep eventually when I got home, but was really tired when I woke up. I did NOT like that alarm clock one bit. 

Turns out I was even too tired to go to school according to my mom. She wanted me to sleep in a little, but my dad, for some reason, disagreed. I WAS quite tired. And my brain would not process like anything. And it's bad for you not to have sleep. Also I was 13. So I went back to bed, setting my alarm for 9:20 for my 10-o'clock French histoire-geographie class. 

It felt so great to sleep. To not have to move my tired body and just be enveloped into the soft void that conjures up odd images and thoughts. But also drags you incidentally to a dark, red cutting place that gives you disturbing/frightening ideas. To just fall into the sheets, re-fueling your used body. Interesting stuff, sleep is.

I slept in too late. I woke up at like 9:45, which was when I was supposed to be there. So uh-oh. My mom wrote a note saying I had a headache. This was technically a lie, but her excuse is that she didn't know how to say "I would have gotten a headache", which I would have gotten, she says, if I didn't get enough sleep. So ok. It was ok. The nice lady at Vie Scolaire told us what to do next time and I went to my next class. I sat next to someone at the back who luckily spoke English. We were talking about justice I think. I had to hastily write down some French sentences, some of which made some sense to me. Then I had English, which was cool. I had enough confidence to answer a few questions, something I didn't really do in any other class. Then I had math in English, which was ugh. There was a sub; she was ok. I got some homework. And did the classwork like all wrong. It was percents. I did most of the work by hand, so that's why my answers were like screwy probably. 

I hurried home for lunch, reaching out my right hand to skim it against the wet little green leaves of the hedge. They were everywhere. Then I had an apple and some other stuff for lunch and hurried back. I saw some of my classmates at the kabob place and wished I had friends to hang out with. 

The rest of the day was awesome. Technologie was literally fun, since I was really happy and laughed. This English guy (Quinn) sat next to me and was just as clueless as I was, which was refreshing. We got on the computers for some reason and had to make these like signs or whatever. I sat with Olivia (Claire's friend) who was cool. Claire was with ValentinClaire (or whatever her name was) who had sat next to me in tech and life sciences before. ValentinClaire told me and Olivia she actually had like 5 names, and for some reason I laughed. Not meanly, but I was just happy. It was like I actually belonged in a group. The people talked to me and listened to me. It was cool. The class was sort of boring, considering all I did was sit next to Olivia and watch her struggle. That sounds mean. But considering I didn't even know what the hell we were doing, I couldn't really help. We eventually did something, I dunno what, while Claire and ValentinClaire were having a good time on the computer. I glanced over occasionally, making me laugh. 

Then in Spanish, although we got lots of homework, I got to sit next to Jess and I wasn't called on. Jess is pretty cool. She doesn't know that much French either I don't think and she's pretty funny. Answers a lot of questions in English. English accent. So yeah. Then I walked home, did my math homework then took a break, which is where I am now. 

As of late, 
school = improving
my old friends = still miss them like hell
my new friends = I'm becoming more like myself and fitting in I think
trumpet = hard to practice
Zach = in Seconde, where he's supposed to be, which is good
my friends = most of them not reading my blog
my overall view on this whole thing = still stressful, stupid, sad, sucky, and leaving me dreading the next day, but I'm trying to not to care so much. Hey, 'cause I mean, I want to live. 

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Did you know they have a limit on titles??!?!

The title is SUPPOSED to be:

See, I just think that in order to eat cucumbers we have to smell octopus as chairmen. I've never cut my toenail hairs, seeing as my 4.5th ear is against the whole concept of inhaling Republican fruit bowls.

The world is normally seen in a matter of days. I don't mean you could travel around the world in a day (well, maybe you can but that's not what I'm trying to say), I mean that we, as humans, take life one day at a time... normally. The day is full of stuff to do, that could be done, that couldn't be done, etc. Take just a few seconds ago. I was sitting on the couch just staring outside, stalling my (gag) French homework when this thought occurred to me and I had to write it down. I just had to. I could have been doing my homework or actually doing something productive, but I was lazy. But I was pondering. I'm tired. I had All the Same by Sick Puppies (Becca's playlist) stuck in my head just then. I don't know what I'm getting at. We make choices every day... and then would that still count as a choice if you think about making choices about thinking about making choices? ...

Going to an international school learning two languages really makes you think about language. I've been analyzing and paying more attention to how the English language "works" and just is. Also the French language. Of course I find the English language more "logical" and just "better", but they might even out by the end of this year. I learn at least 3 new things in French every day probably, and they say I'll be pretty darn good in French by the end of this year. Cool. It's hard though. And I have to like re-learn spelling. One time I actually wrote "geographie" instead of "geography" on an email. Ha hmm. That's my main reaction to things these days. Hmm... ha ha? Nah ha. Hmm haaaaaaa sigh. Spazzztic mouthhh..... ok well I'm just tired, ok? Like seriously. And then I have to play hockey late at night and ha....hmmm. Maybe I should take a nap.

Hey we didn't die. CERN didn't cause a black hole after all!

How many life experiences will it take for me to finally be 100% optimistic? I tell myself "it will be ok" sometimes when I do in fact know it will be ok. But its almost like I'm afraid to be so optimistic because there's still that part of me that knows (thinks) it won't be ok, so then I'd be really... pissed. But seriously. It's almost freaky how everything does go ok.

You know, taking a break from your homework does amazing things. I took a break from that French homework for a few hours and suddenly it like changed everything. All of that stress was gone sort of, and my brain wasn't so zoned in on school. It's awesome. I'm going to do that more often. If I can...

But all the rain comes down the same, falling to from where it came, on the ground then back around up into the sky

Hmm. As I was walking home today after science, I was thinking about the one word I would use to describe this whole thing so far. At first I thought "interesting", but then "different" seemed better. School is sort of getting better, but the days are so long and so stupid and so... long again. I got some math homework but it wasn't too bad. And Spanish homework, but that wasn't too bad either. The "sciences de la vie et terre" is like life sciences. The teacher seemed pretty nice. They have so much complicated stuff here; they want straight lines for a box and have like 4 different types of notebook sizes and whatnot. It's confusing. And stupid. I have hockey practice tonight, which means I'll be getting like 7 hours of sleep. I don't really like it here. There's a part of me that wants to just give up. To just not go to school, to lay down and die. To stop this madness. I'm not happy here. This was supposed to be almost worry-free and I could just "let go" of school, but I'm worrying almost more. I'm lonely; in between classes when we have a 15-minute recess, all I do is stand around and worry. I hate being so helpless and hopeless. I don't like the system here. I never thought I'd say this, but I like the American system is great compared to this. The principals here are huge control freaks. My day is so long and I don't have fun. I don't have anyone to just talk to comfortably, to just hang out and be with. But then there's also that part of me that wants to just do this, to just get it over with. I've gotten this far (2 months), might as well finish this. But how can it be worth it? Yeah yeah I know. French, experience, etc... but this life just isn't... do-able for me. I can't do this. I don't want to. Perhaps I should just let go more. If that makes sense.

I'm singing in the rain
just singing in the rain
what a glorious feeling I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds
so dark up above
the suns in my eye and I'm ready for love
let the story clouds chase
come on with the rain
I have a smile on my face
now walk down the lane
with a happy refrain
just singin', singing in the rain
(Singing in the Rain- Gene Kelly)
(Title: Spring and a Storm-Tally Hall)

blue ink #2

I'm so glad I have paper here. I want, and need, to write. It's 8:23 and I'm in etude again. I'm not in the English history-geography class anymore, which was not a surprise. I was new and the class was full, so my name wasn't called. But I didn't care. To tell you the truth, I didn't really even like that class. The teacher was British, which meant she cared about perfection- straight lines and very specific ways to label a map and so forth. So now I'll have math in English. But the system is so messed up- I think I'll have two math classes. Stupid. I think my dad will tutor me for Algebra, 'cause the math here would just be a review and waste of time for me. I also want trumpet lessons, but my mom says that might be too much. Luckily Wednesdays are half days and I do have hockey practice. I have a lot of stuff I need to do. Practice trumpet (and maybe guitar) because I haven't gotten a chance to in a while. And I need to work with my dad or someone on that French homework. I think I have to prove that these short excerpts from books (one of them is from the first Harry Potter) are in first person or have a narrator or something. I have like 3 days to do it. And then I'll probably get math homework and maybe Spanish. I'm not looking forward to having 2 math classes. And also, I'll be put in a FLE class, which is for people that think French is a "strange" language. In other words, it's for kids that need to learn French. That itself isn't bad, but I'll have to be taken out of the other French-French class, but I'll still have to do the homework for the French-French class. So that sucks.

Ugh my arm is tired. This will go on my blog I bet. I sort of have homework to do, but I like just writing. I'm sitting at the very very front, the closest you could be to the teacher (my desk even touches hers). It's the bad teacher that has anger management problemos. Just a few minutes ago, she had abruptly gotten our of her chair, slammed down her pen and yelled violently at some kid(s) at the back. She like never smiles. Her face is dark. She's smallish; thin. Always grimaces. Doesn't know English. Behind me is Jess, then Claire. Then to my right are two of Claire's friends that are British I think. They're pretty nice. I overheard Claire talking about a black hole and so I thought they were talking about CERN, which they were. I joined in the conversation, saying, "My dad works at CERN," then they all went into fits saying he'll kill us all. I told them it wasn't going to cause a black hole, and they were like, "But your dad will save us, won't he?! Won't he??!!" It was somewhat amusing. Then we talked about birthdays (one of them mentioned that their birthday was soon and they wanted to live to be 13 or whatever) and they thought it was cool that mine was on New Year's Eve. Yeah it's cool.

I sort of have to go soon. I have math, Spanish and Sciences Vie and Terre, whatever that means. Shouldn't be that bad, except I don't know exactly where that science class is. And I have 2 hours of gym tomorrow. Crap. But I think school is getting a little better sort of. This is the 5th day. We've been in France for 70 days, according to my calculations.

Ok, it's 8:46 and my class is at 8:50. I'mago pack up. I'll tell you guys how the rest of the day goes/went.

Sigh. Chester is a dog.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Ha ha ha....no.

I went with Claire and her friend Olivia to get Olivia a canteen card. I waited for a while, but it was ok. I overheard these two girls talking while waiting in line. One of them said, "Isn't there that thing that will kill us all tomorrow?" At first I thought they were talking about school, but then I remembered that CERN was turning on the first like... thing... for the LHC collider tomorrow. And people think it will cause a black hole and all that. I think that's a stupid idea, and I hadn't even heard of that idea until recently, but then I thought about how if my dad didn't work for CERN, I guess it would seem like CERN could be evil. I dunno. It'd all be about perspective. There's that word again; perspective. I also sat near Claire more today, which was really awesome. I sat behind her and Olivia next to this British girl that knew French. Claire reminds me of my friends. She's that type of person, I learned today, that has high self-esteem (she jokes about how she's perfect) and confidence. And she asked me what the word in English was for when your neck in like sore and stuck. (Crick) It was so awesome, 'cause also we talked about how the other male English teacher was slightly weird. She also asked me to say "Natalie" because I guess her and her friends were arguing whether or not Americans say it like NAT-alie. I said it like, "Natalie", closer to "Nadalie". Anyway. And I also walked with Jess to some classes, which was capital A-Awesome. I had always dismissed walking with a friend to class as granted, but now it seems like a luxury. Ah. Just like being able to talk English when going to a restaurant. Can't wait to do that!

I didn't do the math homework for today, but finished it in like 5 minutes in class. I didn't know I had homework, but I guess I just wasn't paying enough attention. Math is going to be easy this year I assume because the French system is behind. So I get to learn positives and negatives again! What. Fun. Well, doesn't help to review. But a waste of time. I got like one question wrong. It was hard. And it's annoying, 'cause the French use a comma (,) as a decimal point. And they put plus signs and negative signs on like everything. For example, they'd say 
(-12)+(+5)=whatever. But yeah. The teacher seems ok, but I don't think he knows English. I sat next to this small girl that knew French and English, so she helped me with stuff. It was pretty easy though. And then we have a spelling test in English next week. We were given a list and have to spell all of those words (it's about 20 words). But dude, they are so easy. A few of the words are "woman", "possession", "actually" and like seriously. The only one I had somewhat trouble with was miscellaneous. But I can spell it now. 

Music was.... musical. The teacher asked me a question about time signatures, and I spent 5 minutes making myself look like a balderdashing idiot. The answer was 9/8 time, but I mean I just didn't get the names of the notes in French. A whole note is like "marron" or something. But at least I survived. We have to sing this song about October. The guy gave me the words, and even then its hard. I picked up the words "man", "flower", "October", something about the colors dazzling or whatever, and like white. But hey, I tried. I try in all of my classes, even if I look like an idgit. Anyway.

After music was Spanish, and I had to, first thing in the class, read part of the text book. God. I failed pretty much. I had practiced reading it a little, but wasn't pronouncing every letter and I was too quiet. Hey, it's pretty darn hard learning 3 languages, ok? And I am learning English because of the language arts-like class. Anyway. I have to memorize the numbers, some dialogue and stuff and stuff for tomorrow. Sigh. But at least it's only a half-day. I suppose I don't "hate" school anymore. But it still sucks. My legs are so dang sore all day from walking fast back and forth from school. I worry. I often just stand by myself in between classes and am still shy.

I saw Zach standing around between classes outside. He was talking to this guy. So he made some friends. He might be able to go back into 10th grade, the one he's supposed to be in. My mom said an advantage of going into 10th grade would be that he'd be like the only guy with sideburns and a lower voice so he'd have lots of girls chasing him in 9th grade, but he wouldn't be "unusual" like that in 10th. I just rolled my eyes.

Two of the people that have blogs I read are writing a book. I wish them good luck and say good job. I want to write a book. A few ideas came to me today, but it could just be an autobiography. Like a huge, life-ly journal. With like all of my ideas and thoughts. We're studying autobiographies in English, which is cool. And then as soon as the opening riff to "Superman" by Lazlo Bane (Becca's playlist) I got sad all of a sudden, and just had the intense feeling to just get the hell out and be free. Me live. Me be happy. Me go back home and just fly. Because all of it is is work, worry and stupid stupid not happy. This isn't for me. I can't... I don't want to do this. Can't we just live in now and not work on future and working your butt off to get in a "good college"? Don't tell me it's really really important; one of the most important things. Because I'd rather feel like smiling than feel like school is life. This is really hard for me. It's like the definition of "ugh". I can't live like this. Seriously. I've only gone outside to walk between buildings and from school to my house. I'm not happy for long periods of time and the happiness isn't... natural. It's like I know it's happy now, but I have stuff later that probably isn't happy. But then again this isn't even bad. Perspective, again. See my earlier post ("Purse-peck-tiv") for my thoughts on that. 

What I need is a re-thinking and plan for human life and an ice cold coke while we're at it. 'Cause this isn't working. Oh and Becca, Anthony, Jenny, Alex, Miyako, Hannah, Clare, Danny, Emma, Tina, Ana, Erez, Oren, Lorri, Nick, Sam, Pascale, Katie, Amy, Ms. Smith, Ms. McKenzie, Mrs. Dorer, Mrs. Davison, Chester and all of you guys. 

I. Want. To. Get. Out.

blue ink

I could write a story from this. Well, of course I could. Stories can be anything. This is probably going on my blog. Problem is, it might get really long and it's annoying to type up written stuff. But oh well. It's 11:13 and I'm sitting at a desk in my second hour of etude (study hall). That lady from the Vie Scolaire is coming around to collect names of who's in etude right now. She looked at my name and gave me a weird look. But she's nice. I technically have homework to do, but it's in French and that would be really hard for me to do without help. After this is probably my favorite class, English. We're reading this book called Cider with Rosie by Laurie Lee. It's pretty good so far I guess. Ugh these zozo's had thrown a pen at me... twice. One of them, the guy that didn't throw it, has glasses with un-combed blonde hair and glasses. He looked somewhat like what most people would call a "nerd". The other guy is shorter with a fatter face and blondish hair. They said something to me in French, I think telling me to give them the wad of paper they threw and missed with. I just looked blankly at them and turned around, holding in my insane anger and pissed-off-ness. Then the guy threw the pen at me a second time. Ugh. My left shoulder still hurts a little. JERKS. I'm bored, slightly worried. My hand is getting sore. I hope I don't get a lot of homework to do. I sort of have like 6 friends now. Claire, her friend Olivia, Jess (British) who sits next to me in English, Joey, this tall black girl from NYC (named Adja) and this other shorter black girl who sat next to me in Spanish (Carla). So it's pretty good I guess. Or at least getting better. This is only the 4th day. I have like 200+ more to go. What fun. Uh-oh, this is getting long. I predict it will get 0 comments. A bunch of kids just came in and the lady is talking to them. I don't think she's very happy about them coming in "late". I have about 15 minutes or so till I have to go. The rest of the day, I have English, a short lunch, music, Spanish and math. Shouldn't be too bad.

Happy 13th birthday, Jenny, even if you're not reading this. Yay. That last y looks like a V. Anyway. I get these "grin flashes", where I suddenly remember something happy and funny with my friends like a private joke, and then I smile really big. It happens a lot. They're cool, and yet make me sad at the same time.

Lots of graffiti here. I'm tired. I stayed up till 10:30 waiting for my friends to come on. Some of them did, which was cool. It's a lot harder to chat with them now that

I just got up and almost left there. I thought it was time to go, but then Jess told me we wait a little longer. So ok. The classes are like 55 minutes long, maybe shorter. Anyway, as I was saying, it's a lot harder to chat with my friends now that school started. Sigh. I hope Fat Friday is this week. It's like the Neutral Zone in Ann Arbor, where teens meet and hang out every Friday and eat pizza or whatever. I really want to go.

I have to go soon. I'll type this up on my blog I suppose. I'm only 3 lines down to the bottom of this paper. Ok I'm going to get ready and pack up. You guys aren't awake yet. GO BLUE! I'll how the rest of my day goes/went.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Hey guess what- I HATE school

Sigh. I really hate my school. Today wasn't too bad, but I just hate walking there in the morning by myself. I hate just doing most of the stuff by myself. I hate not having a friend to talk to about the weird teachers, or just to complain. I hate not knowing what the hell that person is saying to me. I hate not having Becca in the same building as me, and being able to see her almost everyday. I hate not having Ms. Smith yell at us about how stupid we were. I hate not being able to watch Mr. Bartley sip from his coffee cup and blow us some smooth lip slurs in his trombone. I hate not being able to talk English and communicate with most people. I hate not being in the same country as my best friends. I hate not being able to pet Chester, and feel him at the end of my bed. I hate having to be in a caged building. I hate that I have to be so helpless, so stupid, so useless and have everyone translate stuff. I hate not being able to walk 5 minutes down the street with my trumpet and meeting Becca and Anthony and Nick and Tina and Eva and Claire and Ana and Hannah and Jenny and Alex and Miyako and Lorri and Danny and Pascale and Sam on the deck, forming circles around the conversation and yet being excluded and having that suck. I hate having to lug around a really heavy backpack. I hate that I have to miss 8th grade. I hate that I have to miss jazz band. I hate that I can't spend my last year on easy middle school with my friends. I hate having to do extra studying for the classes back in the US. I hate not doing Accelerated Algebra this year and then being behind my friends in High school. I hate not being able to write in not-pens. I hate the fact that the high school students here smoke cancer sticks, and make me at risk too. I hate smoking and drugs. I hate that I still have 10 months. I hate that I have to waste a year. I hate not talking and laughing at lunch, and not going outside to talk about the weather or whatever. I hate that my friends have it so easy. I hate that I stink at guitar. I hate not bringing more books. I hate not having wings. I hate when my friends don't treat me like I treat them, which is how I want to be treated. I hate having to miss out on everything. I hate missing band again. I hate that some of my friends not apply to Community and I might get in without them. I hate that I have to audition for Pioneer bands or whatever. I hate wasting my summer. I hate not having grilled cheese sandwiches a lot. I hate having to walk back and forth from school 4 times a day. I hate that I get out of school so late. I hate that people like McCain and disrespect Obama. I hate global warming and negative human nature. I hate when people make you intimidated. I hate when I'm confused. I hate worrying, and that it's like second nature for me. I hate people that dismiss you for your appearance, not bothering to get to know you. I hate Ohio State. I hate how one of my good friends is an OSU fan and we argue every football season. I hate how everything is about getting good grades, getting into a good college, competing against other students to get better test scores. I hate how we are the problem. I hate how everything happens so fast. I hate having to read French and kill my brain to find out what it means. I hate that we don't turn out the lights at night, so we see like no stars. I hate when those kids laugh about me (or something anyway) at the school. I hate having stupid teachers. I hate my long eyelashes. I hate barely ever getting to chat with my friends. I hate not seeing my friends. I hate how people change for the worst. I hate having to hold in thoughts or feelings. I hate being such a sissy. I hate being so scared. I hate having to hurry to my classes or to catch a bus. I hate the fact that after this hell I have to go to high school, which is more of a hell. I hate how there are swear words and stupid rules. I hate how I have to learn 1-2 more languages and already have one that I like a lot and am pretty darn good at. I hate how there are so many languages and it's complicated. I hate the French language pretty much. I hate how I'm missing out on band. I hate not playing a concert after all of that hard work with all of my band mates. I hate how school is like the main part of life. I hate how we can't just be frickin' happy. I hate how everything is about money and stupid things like that. I hate how people say "hate is a strong word", when maybe I'm using hate as a strong word, or hey- what if I'm using it to a lesser degree? I hate not being able to just be free. I hate not being able to walk down to the Bear Bowl to play catch with Anthony, talking about how much the Tigers suck. I hate not being able to lie on the ground with Becca and just talk. I hate not being able to jam with Jenny or Miyako. I hate not being able to play street hockey with Nick and all the little neighborhood kids. I hate playing hockey with grown-up men. I hate people that bump into you without saying sorry. I hate when people copy my ideas. I hate gossip and how everything has to be such a big deal if it's just a human being human in the news. I hate not staying up past midnight chatting with Becca. I hate taking out the recycling and hearing the crashing and breaking glass bottles. I hate loud music that's stupid. I hate how people do stuff just to be cool, and it's all a catch-22. I hate how the main character of Harry Potter (and a hell of a lot of other books) is a boy. I hate how Maximum Ride isn't real, and if she is, I can't meet her. I hate not being free again. I hate stupid movies that are just plain stupid and stupid. I hate how people can be so mean and you just have to try so hard to be their friends or talk to them. I hate having to learn a different language in a different language. I hate how people think I'm a boy. I hate feeling like my friends are ditching me, and I would hate losing my friends. I hate being trapped here. I hate not getting to go home RIGHT NOW. I hate that I didn't let my friend hug me when I wanted her too. I hate people saying "Slauson sucks" just automatically when they see I'm wearing a Slauson shirt and they're from somewhere else. I hate how I get out of school so late and have a lot of homework. I hate not getting enough sleep. I hate that everything is going to be so different when I come back. I hate peer pressure. I hate the fact that (according to my mom) more than half of the students at my school asked had tried drugs and had sexual intercourse by their senior year. I hate not being close to my family. I hate having fat tasting good. I hate the fact that I'm in France right now. I hate stress. I hate people telling you a lot about them and their day and not wanting to hear about yours. I hate people not returning "how are you"s and such. I hate that I have to miss one of my best friend's Bat Mitzvah. I hate missing one of my other best friend's birthday, and having her not being able to come to mine. I hate how I have to do so much French. I hate feeling so alone and ughed. I hate that I'm not going to Slauson with my friends. I hate not playing Connect-4 with Tina in advisory and hang-man with Miranda and everyone. I hate not feeling confident in my classes, when school just started getting fun. I hate not having courage. I hate that I can't play trumpet with Emma R. for a while and at Slauson with Danny. I hate not being able to get out of Book 2 in band after all of that practicing. I hate having such a long school year, and having this be the way it is until the end of the year. I hate having to go to weddings and wearing stupid clothes. I hate wearing dresses. I hate how like no one reads my blog, or at least no one comments and when I comment on every of my friend's blogs. I hate when my parents argue. I hate Zach being a jerk. I hate not playing with the Levins. I hate how it's almost high school and that having guy friends will be "weird" or even "not allowed". I hate not being happy all the time. I hate not being able to buy songs on Itunes. I hate that we're so lucky and that we're just destroying everything and probably not capable of helping or balancing it out. I hate how my friends aren't here with me, and we can't make movies or talk or whatever. I hate not being able to hang out on the deck. I hate not being able to go sledding at Slauson with Erez and Oren and Anthony and maybe Zach's friends and then drinking hot chocolate at my house and making movies. I hate how my handwriting is bad. I hate not being in band. Again. I hate being so vulnerable to smelly cheese. I hate poopey heads. I hate how people probably won't read all of this and not comment either. I hate stereotypes. I hate popularity and popular kids' many personalities and jerks. I hate having friends that want me to get a make-over and whatever. I hate those stupid, pink Girl magazines about *shudder shudder* things. I hate people not being themselves or hiding themselves. I hate how you don't really notice how you change and find you don't like yourself now or then. I hate feeling short and having people feel like making fun of me. I hate having to do the dishes sometimes and feeling so bratty and spoiled. I hate the whole "I'm in France while my friends aren't" thing. I also hate the whole "I'm not doing 8th grade/jazz band after 3 long hard years of practicing and my friends are" factor. I hate that next year is high school. I hate the stupid school system here. I hate me hating things sometimes. I hate how I can't conveniently talk to anyone. I hate how this whole thing could just be not worth it. 

That didn't start out as such a huge rant, but ok. To sum it up, I hate life right now. I really needed to get that stuff out. And I still need someone to talk to. And I still need to be home right now. 

That guy in that dark suit that has those gadgets and that fights that one clown guy and Zach grew wings... or like a big plastic banana.

Saturday we went to see the Dark Knight. My mom is the kind of person that doesn't really go for those kind of movies. One Mother's Day, we went to see Spiderman (the one with that green goblin) and the only seats were in the very very front or like somewhere else. So me and my dad were stuck right in front of it, which sucked. We left a few minutes through though because my mom was somewhat... scared. Anyway. So she didn't really like the Dark Knight. In fact, I didn't even really like it. For one thing, it was very very long. It just kept going, with slightly ridiculous plot changes and whatnot. This might turn into a rant, so beware. And I might accidentally like give away stuff, so be careful. I guess. How the hell did the Joker manage to be like hidden and go all around Gotham with no one noticing? How did he manage to rig two ships with oil barrels?!?! And the people just randomly did not check the boats before. And how could Harvey talk with like half his cheek burned off, and manage to move with that much pain? It was just... ugh. You could say I'm being too... expectant here. It is a frickin' superhero movie, but seriously. The movie did bring up important... points I guess. We had a discussion about it after the movie. So apparently the Joker wanted to prove that everyone would/could go "bad" because of human nature, and we're all just following the "rules" to like.. stay... in.. the rules... I dunno. But yeah. I mean, to a certain extent we could all just collapse. Human nature is complex. But it was just stupid because, you'd think that after all of those episodes with the Joker being an insane sadist, the people in Gotham would just... leave? But then I thought about what I would do if the Joker or some bad guy was in Ann Arbor. Would I actually leave? Probably, but then again you just want the Batman to take care of it. But seriously. And then I was thinking about how if you had a superhero in your town, it would affect your tourist rate. New York City has enough stuff to attract people, but seeing Spiderman in action or whatever could attract people to the city. Then again, superheros mean more criminals, so it'd be more dangerous. Whatever.

Zach turned 16 yesterday. It's sort of freaky. I made him a rather eccentric card. I don't even know what I was saying. But I liked it. Maybe he did, I dunno. Me and my bro are not close by any imagination. I might have gone into this subject already, so I will skip it I suppose for now. He really wanted to go para-gliding for his birthday, which he did. We had pancakes for b-fast and drove to Annecy, a cool town with their own lake. Zach flew around for like 20 minutes or so while I had a somewhat-spicy hot dog. I like the hot dogs better here, 'cause they're in baguettes. That's like... awesome. The guy put mayonaisse on it, which totaled to lots of vinegar combined with ketchup and mustard. I've had a bad experience with an overdose of vinegar (luckily the vinegar wasn't in my stomach), but anyway. Zach had fun sort of. He said it was only fun like the first few minutes. He sat in front of this French dude (Fabian Blanc, who was short-ish and had lots of energy) and got to control the para-pent for a little. There were like 10+ para-gliders out there total. I took some pictures and a video of his landing. Unfortunately, an unfortunate accident happened. To Zach. I'm not allowed to tell you guys, but I can tell you it was not pretty. Nuh-uh. Eww. He's ok now I think though. We went out for pizza after, and somehow we always went back to the subject of Zach's unfortunate happening. It was one of those things that was NOT appropriate for dinner, either. It was annoying. And I read the first chapter of Cider With Rosie, the book for my English class. That author is gee-double-you- gwood. Tres descriptive, and he has such good phrases. Anyway. My mom made a really good raspberry-chocolate cake, which had homemade frosting. It was good. Then I took a shower and went to bed, dreading the next day. 

Friday, September 5, 2008

You Know My Name (Look up the Number)

Same deal as yesterday; woke up and took a shower. My hair stays wet for a while, so I look like a.... well just weirder at the beginning of school. I had stayed up last night to like 10 getting my school stuff ready for today. I had 2 French classes, geography in English, that English class again, and I would have had "plastiques art" but the teacher wasn't here. Oh and about that- it was weird today. It was both awesome and very ugh-y. I have a lot of homework. Well, "a lot" meaning 2 math sheets, reading a chapter (in English! woot!), making a sign for technologie, coloring the front of my musique notebook, filling in and coloring a map of Europe and memorizing some sheet about the kings of France and whatnot. But it's not too bad. I have lots of excuses. And lucky for me, grades are like.... not... important this year.
My dad walked to school with me. We passed this one high school girl who was smoking. She was probably only a few years older. Geez. I saw a lot of people smoking actually. But anyway. I said bye to my dad before the crosswalk to the school, meaning he did not actually go inside. Which I suppose was good because I mean, I'm in frickin' (I've been using that word a lot lately) 8th grade and I'm a "big kid" so the fact that my dad came to school could be seen as... sissy.. like. But hey whatever. Like I said, I have lots of excuses.
The school system here is quite different. I thought I'd be done with that whole "line up" rule/idea, but noooo, we have to line up in these sections labeled with the room number and follow the teacher up. Ugh. So as I walked into the L building for my first class, this lady told me I had to go outside and line up. It seem(s/ed) so stupid. But anyway.
Today was better than yesterday, but they both seemed so dang long. I only had about 45 minutes total for lunch break, which meant I only had about 20 minutes to eat. Which sucked. I was so hungry. I chewed on a carrot and banana, but that wasn't really enough. But I didn't have time to eat anything else really. I listened to 2 Tally Hall songs and I was just... so ughed. I really didn't like the school. The French class was for French students, but luckily the teacher knew English. I was supposed to read some random thing about a guy and a dictionary? Then answer questions and conjugate verbs. I could understand some of it, and I did try. Even though I was sort of off, you couldn't say I didn't try. So that class pretty much stank. But then the teacher said I'd be put in a different, easier class to study French. That's good.
At least I had an English class. We started reading Cider With Rosie, which was pretty interesting, at least the part we read. Someone actually willingly sat next to me. Awesome. We didn't talk though- not really any time and I was shy. I raised my hand a few times, and got called one like once. I didn't want to be too confident because then I might like, embarrass myself even more. That's like my favorite class ever at this school.
After that I had yet another French class, except in a different room. Weird. Then I had math, which was basically a French guy talking to us... in French. Like I mentioned, I got 2 sheets to do. I think we're doing like negative numbers now. I'll do pretty well maybe. The guy didn't call my name for attendance and I didn't write my name down either. Sigh. After that I hurried home to eat and came back for music. Joey told me the teacher was really strict about being late, but was really cool. I sure hoped he was cool. We were like the first people in the class. That class was when everyone learned my name. The teacher (Monsieur Pils according to my schedule) asked me where I was from in French and I turned to Joey to translate. The room had chairs against the wall formed in a big half-circle, so everybody could see everybody. So then later in the class, when my name wasn't called on the list, I told him my name and then -sigh- we had to spend a few minutes spelling my name. He wasn't sure about my last name, so I spelled it in English. So then the rest of the class helped spell it in French. So now pretty much everyone in my classes know my name. How wonderful. And then the guy also thought I was a boy. Sigh. I guess I have to re-establish that I am a girl. All of the kids back home in Ann Arbor know I'm a girl now. At first I didn't really mind it, but when the guy has to mistake it in front of a whole class of kids that I don't know? Ugh.
We also had to sing. We had to go around the room, saying "aaah". I wasn't quite doing it right the second time round, so someone told me in English that I had to say it like I was yawning. I sucked at it. And then we had to learn some random song. Man, I stink at singing anyway, but in FRENCH? That's going to be super super hard 'cause I won't even know the words.
The teacher was pretty funny. The class would laugh a lot, and I would stand there completely clueless most of the time. But I did sort of get what he was joking about. He made a big deal about someone's cell phone going off. The guy next to me was probably a popular kid 'cause he didn't really pay attention, talked loudly at random times a lot and bumped into me. It was like I wasn't there. I hate that.
After music was etude, which Joey described as just sitting in a room doing nothing. I was going to study. At first I walked to B9 with Joey and his friend, which was the room it was supposed to be in. But then no one was there so we went outside to line up. I wasn't sure I was in the right line, though, because most of the kids looked like 6th grade-size. So I asked this guy and he said yeah the line was going to etude. So ok. At first I didn't make it in the room, because there was a limited number of desks. But then 3 more kids were allowed in, and I was in those 3. My seat was right at the front, next to the desk of the teacher person. The teacher person was one of the ladies I saw in the Vie Scholar, and she wasn't the nicest. We had to write our name and class on this sheet, which I did. Then I wrote down all the homework I (thought I) had and the due dates. I only had like 5 things. I had about 45 minutes or so. I just stared at the histoire sheet with the kings on it. I had until the 18th to memorize that. Ugh. See, the thing is, it's really really hard (at least for me) to memorize something in a different language. I stared at the sheet for awhile, but didn't really get it. I'll try to look at it everyday.
At the end of etude I thought I'd be late to/miss my next class because I didn't get out of etude until I thought my class was going to start. But I wasn't going to even try to tell the teacher that, because she had a dangerous shush. She would make this high-pitched and very loud sshhh sound to tell us to be quiet, which was like a hiss that almost hurt my brain. Ouch.
I walked down the stairs, dreading my next class because I didn't know where it was and it was going to be in French. It was in the Lycee building; the high school. And I didn't really like art that much anyway. Well I guess its ok. Joey was going to show me where it was, but sometimes he got off-track or whatever. But anyway. I walked down the stairs to get to the other building and was about to walk outside when I heard my name. Someone said my name. Well I guess after all of the classes I'd been through, almost everyone does know my name... but it was Claire. Who helped translate yesterday. I walked over to her and she said we didn't have the art class because the teacher wasn't there and we didn't have a replacement. Oh. Cool. I had heard that teachers would just not be at the class for no reason. So I sat down near Claire and her friends and then followed them to etude because I had nothing else to do really. I didn't want to seem annoying, following her, so I kept my distance. And I chose a seat not really near her 'cause I didn't want to like invite myself over. But guess what happened. Claire asked if I wanted to sit with her. I was surprised. I walked over saying, "Oh uh yeah sure thanks," and sat in front of her. Then she asked if I was ok with all of my classes and stuff. Geez. Again with the niceness. I said, "Uh...." looking at my schedule. But then the teacher didn't want us to talk so Claire yelled back at her (the room was quite large and we were at the back) saying something about how I didn't know French and she was helping me or something. So I asked what exactly we were supposed to do for histoire-geographie, but we didn't have the same class. I did have tons and tons of questions about like what supplies I needed and stuff but didn't feel like asking. So then Claire just said I could talk to her if I had any questions or just wanted to talk. I said ok thanks and turned around. Feeling incredibly awesome. That was AWESOME. Did you guys just see what just happened?! I like... half made a friend! 2nd day of school! And she seems do dang nice! That is like... awesome. Times a billion. For the rest of the hour I studied the kings sheet a little and then wrote a list of people that I think read my blog. I think I counted about 22.

Then.

Life seemed so awesome then. I had been going in and out of the space here all day. That is, my brain had been zoning in and out of the school all day and I hardly noticed it until I did. It was like I saw the optimistic side and the pessimistic side. I was thinking about whether or not life was good. I was suddenly mad, as I stared out the window holding my pen, and I capped the pen with force. It's getting darker, no more optimism. I forgot how I could be happy. This school sucks. I hate it. Ah, but then the tree IS a vibrant green. I am hungry, it is Friday, one more class to go (in English) and it's nice outside. Something was taken, something distorted and moved. But in that sense and process, I have gained the probability and maybe ability to move back, move forward and un-distort that change. Or at least sudden realization will crash, acting as a painful and odd wave, over me, helping me have a year of moving back and at the same time making progress.

There were two Americans (I assumed they were Americans because of the accent) that had nothing to do and just talking. The one guy said the F word about 5 times. They spoke some French and some English. One time the F-word guy asked me what time it was and I showed it to him. He also *grits teeth* thought I was a boy at first. Sigh. And he thought I spoke French, but Claire corrected him. There was a lot of graffiti on the walls here. I noticed "Ibanez" (a guitar company) and the F word written all over. There was also a sign on the door that said SILENCE with dolphins. Well ok.
I left in a hurry to get to my last class. It was in a different building. I found a seat in the middle column and again no one sat next to me at first. But then this French girl asked if she could sit next to me and I nodded yes. But boy. Even though this class was in English, and it was my last class, the first impression I got of the teacher was not that great. Here's a few quotables.

"How dare you come in here still chatting with your friends and sitting down wherever you like! There's a whole lot of you here and I will guarantee some of you will be leaving!" That was the first thing she said to us. In an English accent, mind you. So I thought, "Crap. I hate this teacher already,"

"Now you have to give your best effort all of the time. Always do your personal best because otherwise you'll be wasting my time and your parent's money. And I don't know what's more important; probably my time," After this I was like, "woah"

She had blondish-brown hair that was short and she had a sort of mean look to her face. She was real strict. Had so many random rules about how to label countries (you had to draw straight lines with a ruler to underline to country name) and all that. But actually towards the end of the class she was ok. The class was so quiet after and during she talked. We had to label a map of Europe and come up to this high-tech board and label them. It was like a computer screen on the wall, and you could draw on it like with the pencil tool using this special tool. It was pretty impressive. I could only label like 10 countries but learned a lot. I didn't want to go up because I was shy. The girl next to me was French and didn't really know the countries that well. It was refreshing. She was pretty nice I guess. So then I left and walked home. It was weird though because after the normal electronic bell, there was a bell that sounded like a fire alarm. So I seriously wondered if like, for some odd, odd reason, there was a fire/fire drill at the end of school, but none of the other kids seemed to be panicking or anything. Maybe they do that on Fridays.

I was so hungry. Like starving. But then I remembered the many kids in Africa and all around who felt like this and worse everyday. So never mind. I'm not starving. I'm just.. hungry. It was the kind of hunger that if you like smelled food, it almost hurt your stomach. I was tired to. A 9-hour school day really takes it out of you. And that was only the 2nd day. Crap.

Oh and also I hate the system here. Or at least one aspect. Apparently, Zach didn't get into his level of math from the math test he took, so they dropped every class of his one level. So now he has to go to 3eme, which is 9th grade, when he's supposed to be in 10th. And my mom said they argued with the people but they just have a messed-up system that puts the students in their placement and their system, not helping each student's special needs. Which sucks. So this is almost a waste for Zach. And apparently I won't actually be in the english geography class because they said it was too full. But what was weird was that my name was actually on the list, and not on the math list. So I dunno. We'll see.

I want to ask one of my friends back home to order me a sweatshirt. That'd be cool. I'd have to do it soon though. And duh I'd pay them back. I'll put something cool on it. Or try to. I might also add a new playlist too. It really helps to know what I can do to change this blog to make it more enjoyable for you guys, so please do comment! But whatever.

I am SO happy it's the weekend, and I only had 2 days of school so far. I want to practice my trumpet, play hockey, maybe ice skate, chat/send letters to friends, get a haircut and do my homework. I really miss Slauson.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Revival of the amatuer, somewhat sucky new hockey player, minus Douglas

We were late. And it smelled like lip stick. Crisp and cold; waxy? My dad had chosen to take the super-highway but that ended up being longer than through Geneva. Practice had started at 10:15. It was like 10:23. We had gone in like every entrance in the sports-complex, and were in the completely wrong part. I heard "Shut up and let me go" on the speakers. Eventually we found the locker rooms, after walking around the perimeter of the rink, with no way to get down to the rink level. I saw the players, rather big, stretch and warm-up. I rushed putting my stuff on, having not done it in 6 months. The locker room was probably the woman's one because there were only 2 bags. I walked outside, my dad only in his skates, just wanting to work on skating. The team was now doing some drill where they passed and deked the goalie. The goalie was wearing an Ann Arbor jersey, amazingly. I walked on the ice, and this guy in a white jersey floated toward us. My dad introduced me and he shook my hand, which still had my glove on it. I still need to work on taking off my gloves to shake hands. Eh. So then he told us (he was the coach) to just warm up on the other side of the rink and then join them when I was ready. The ice was already pretty worn, so I had issues stopping. But I hadn't forgotten my skills. Not all of them anyway. I stick-handled, took some shots, did cross-overs.... etc. Then the players floated over here and were split into two sides. One side was the really good one. I was in the ok/amateur one I guess. We did some drills, making me sort of confused at first. We passed to the person across from the rink and they passed back and you went an scored. I went second, after this guy startled me by saying, with an American accent, "Hey you wanna go first?" I just nodded and muttered a small thanks. There was this other woman there, and she was supposed to be like my partner. We did some drills I knew about, like passing to each other while we skated back and forward. I like that one. Then we did shooting drills. Well. I must say, some of those guys really had a powerful slap-shot. But some of them couldn't quite slap it even. And for most of them they couldn't really even manage to slap the puck. Huh. I had some ok shots, but had to really propel the puck, since we were like 5+ feet from the blue line. Which is pretty far from the goal, if you didn't know. But I have an ok wrist shot I guess. My stick was pretty good too.
At the end we got to do a five-on-five, which I love. I was wearing my white A2 jersey so I was on the white team. That had the coach on it. There were some really good guys on the team. This one guy, on the other team, spoke English and I had sort of broken the puck free from the people so I was sort of on a breakaway. Problem was, I couldn't control the puck- it was too fast. So the American guy was like, "Yeah that's your puck! Protect it!" He said in a half-mock voice to be nice/mocking/whatever. Anyway. It was a good practice I guess. I started off on left wing at first, then somehow changed to defense which I didn't mind. I was so tired at the end. I hadn't stretched so I had a cramp. I drained my water bottle and was so sweaty. We talked in the locker room, and the one woman with the Ann Arbor jersey was the goalie and said she learned to play hockey there for 3 years. She was French though. And the other woman was Slovakian and was surprised I had only played 1 season.
I was very sweaty. It was 11:40 when we drove home. We listened to the radio and I heard "Lovesong" AGAIN. It's not a bad song. But yeah. I was going to take a shower when I got home but decided to do it in the morning. I was so tired. And sweaty. We got home at like 12:10, and I got to sleep at like 12:30 maybe, so I got like 6 hours of sleep. Not good.
That's like the only practice I can make- Wednesdays at 10:15-11:15. The other ones would be during the morning during school. I think Wednesday will be like my favorite day besides hockey. It'll be tough doing that and school, but hey- I get to play hockey!

First. Frickin'. Day. Of. Frickin'. School.

I hate my alarm clock. It has a very annoying beep (don't they all?) that reminds me of like a hospital. I woke up at 6:50 and took a shower. I washed off all of that sweat and... more sweat from hockey practice (I'll write about that in my next post). I put on my Ann Arbor Rock Band Boot Camp shirt which was one of my favorites, along with cargo pants. My dad took a shower after me and my mom also woke up. I sorted through the big pile of paper, notebooks, etc in my room and put some in my backpack. It was pretty heavy. Then I ate some corn flakes (good stuff, corn flakes-pretty much never get old even after eating them a few days straight) with half a chocolate croissant. It was like 7:20. My mom also brought out some English Breakfast Tea which I slurped down hastily.
Then it was like time to go. It was raining so we decided to walk instead of bike. I brought my Ann Arbor Girls Hockey jacket and an umbrella. We couldn't really wait for my mom because we only had 15 minutes which was the minimal time we needed to walk there. So my dad and I set out, walking at a somewhat-quick pace. I saw another kid and his older brother, wearing light blue headphones. We followed them down this back road to the school. There were lots of cars. It was a gray, bleak morning. I wasn't really worried while walking with my dad. I mean, I didn't know what it would be like, but I wasn't like panicking.
There were tons of high school students waiting outside. I noticed the buses were a dull gray and looked like tour buses; tallish. We got there rather close to 7:55, when it was supposed to start. We just went in the College main building and got in line for the schedule along with lots of other kids. I recognized some kids from the tests and overheard someone speak English. The line was rather slow, and about half way through my mom came in, reminding my dad that he forgot my shot records and all that. Which would have been bad, if not for my mom bringing them. So we just talked about hockey and stuff. My dad noticed a sign about the English National Program (ENP) and he went over to read it. He found out that the hallway going down to the left from the line was like all English classes, or at least in the ENP. So ok.
After waiting for about 45 minutes, it was finally my turn. My dad did the talking, knowing the most French. I was put in Spanish level 2, which was the starting level they said. My class thing was 4G, and then this tall French dude with a black/gray mustache and light orange suit lead all three of us to this other building behind the first one. He spoke French to my dad, who was like the other one who could understand it, and then asked if I did. I said "petite pu" (meaning a little bit) and he laughed and said in English, "Ok we help you." I smiled. I waited with my dad while my mom was talking to some other lady that knew English. The room had tiled floors and I saw some lockers. They were arranged sort of like file cabinets and were square, maybe a foot by a foot or so. There were a bunch of kids in here. I saw two TV screens, one saying the absent professors, the other saying recent news. Both were blank. In the upper right corner were numbers showing the time, rotating around in a virtual circle.
After a few minutes we went in the room, labeled "Vie Scholar" (student life). There was a lady there with short black hair and a white shirt on that had like a zebra. She hastily filed through papers, finding my class, 4G. My schedule (or "time table") was this white sheet, showing the days on the top and the times on the left. There was a gap in the middle for lunch, and the bottom half of macredi (Wednesday) was blank, because I had a half-day then. Some blocks had an A part and a B part. The lady explained that the weeks cycled A and B; this week was A. Today was jeudi (Thurday) and I was supposed to be in gym. Ugh. Gym. And then my next class was history/geography and then a gap for lunch. The lady was really nice, and spent a while helping us with the schedule. She highlighted my classes, gave me my carnot (like a planner that I had to have all the time with me) and papers for my dad to fill out. She spoke pretty good English which helped.
After a while my mom left because she had a French test to take for her French lessons. So my dad and I just talked more as the lady did some work. There were 3 main buildings: L, A and B. The building where I took my tests was L and the one with the student life office was B. The one connecting to A was B. At around 10 was my first class, history/geography, in room L-20. So my dad came with me to find it, and we waited for a while. No one was here. After the bell rang we decided to ask the lady again where to go, since the teacher wasn't there, but then this English dude around my age asked my dad where L-28 was. Then a flood of kids came out from a stairwell and were going in the direction of L-20, so we followed them. They also had a teacher leading them. Apparently we were supposed to line up against the wall, because that was what everyone else did, so I did that too. I said bye to my dad and he left. I was on my own now. Crap.

The first class was hell. I sat next to this tall guy who spoke some English and who didn't really pay full attention to the lesson. The teacher had blondish hair past the shoulders and looked sort of nice. She read off a list on names for attendance and I wasn't called. She didn't even ask me if I was in the right class. Basically, she ignored me the whole hour. I had to write down my name, my parent's jobs, date of birth, nationality and like interests outside of school. I asked the guy next to me a few questions, but was sort of shy. The teacher just rattled on in French, sometimes writing on the board, which helped. She'd ask questions and pretty much everyone else knew what they were doing. No one seemed to be as lost as I was. I sort of got that we were going to learn about the European Union, some continents and countries and the Kings. I was handed a few sheets and people read out loud. Boy, the French sure like to talk fast. It was hard to follow. But I was doing ok I guess. Luckily the teacher didn't call on me or anything. I really would not feel like saying "je ne comphrend pas" to like everything they said, and then wasting the other kid's valuable class time while the teacher had to make a fool out of me. I almost felt bad for myself.
Halfway through the class Joey came in and sat at the back. At the end of class, he asked if I had been getting by with my French. I just said with a sort-of smile, "Er sort of... heh" He helped me find my next class, even though I wasn't that hopeless. I asked him if we had homework, and he said we had to like revise the sheet with the Kings on it. There was NO way I could have figured that out. Geez. I was so clueless. Hopeless. Stupid. Sucky. Whatever. And then he said there was a test on it next week. Well. I might as well not even try. Seriously. My grade for that will be like negative 41. Sigh.
My next class was an English one. Thank the Superior Dooder Lord! Anyway.
This one wasn't even half bad. My favorite class by far so far! The teacher had an older look to her face but wasn't really stern. Dirty blondish hair past the shoulders a bit and wearing a necklace. Her name was like Mrs. Wainwright. She gave us a sheet saying how we should try our hardest every time, not copy, turn in homework on time; no exceptions, etc. I was really liking this class. And the funny thing was, the kids I saw in the history-geography class that spoke like perfect French, some of them were in this class and they spoke really good English. Huh.
My name was also not called on the list in that class either. But I wrote mine on the back, along with like 5 other kids who didn't get their names called. Then most of us got handed out Twelfth Night, but I didn't get one because they didn't have enough. Mrs. Wainwright explained what we were going to do this year. We were starting off with autobiographies, then later doing Twelfth Night, lots of reading, reading books like I Am the Cheese (I had actually read that one last year) and writing an essay, doing some poetry (but of course) and writing up a speech or something on Animal Farm. Sounded like fun. A lot of work, but I get to speak and write English. What a luxury! That class went by fast of course. They were about 55 minutes each and I had 15 minutes to get to each class I think. Joey was also in that class. It occurred to me then, that Joey was probably a popular kid. He had high-fived someone in the hallway and was quite self-confident. Not all popular kids are like... ugh, but still.
We weren't sure if I had signed up for math in English or history-geography, and my next class was math in English. And it was in the same room as the writing class, so I just stayed to ask. I didn't really like that atmosphere though. The teacher was somewhat... eh. It seemed as though I didn't sign up for her class, so she told me to go to the ENP secretary to call the people to tell us what I signed up for. So I went in and asked. The person was really nice. She confirmed that I had not signed up for math in English, so I could go home for lunch. I think I had about an hour for lunch, which was cool. Yay. So I walked out of the L- building, thinking, "this sucks." Because I pretty much hated this school so far.

It was still raining. There were some high schoolers outside for their break and I passed them. I ran a little bit, because I so badly wanted to get out that frickin' place. Zach was awake, and had slept in as he hadn't been called to the school yet. Lucky. I had enchiladas for lunch, which my mom had made the day before. They were actually quite good. I was hungry. Then I got on the computer (as you know, if you read my earlier post) and tried to just relax.
At 1:40 I decided to go back. My next class, technologie, started sort of between 1:40-2:30 0r something. I didn't really see any other kids walking towards the school, so I worried if I was really late or really early. But I went anyway. I walked pretty fast, getting there in about 15 minutes. Still lots of cars. I went inside the building with the student life office and waited around. Technologie was in B-02 or B-03. See, that was my I hated this so much, because I didn't even know where to go or what classes I had. Ugh. And I hated going to one and that being the wrong one, and the teacher like yelling at me. The nice lady with short black hair wasn't in the office, but two other ladies were, laughing rather loudly. I asked one of them if they spoke English and they said "a little bit". So I asked them where my tech class would be. The lady called the other one to come over, and she rather abruptly took me out of the office to follow her. She was rather rough, firmly grabbing on to my right wrist and walking fast. I was like, "Um yeah I'm not really going anywhere... you don't need to hold it that tight..." The tech room was just to the right. We asked these two women if I was in the right place and they said yeah. A bunch of other kids starting coming in then and I sat down.
There were some posters around, one of sailboats and stuff. The teacher seemed nice, with white-ish frizzy hair. She didn't know any English though. I sat down in the column closest to the door and in the 2nd row. No one sat next to me. Of course not- why would they? Heaven forbid anyone sit next to the weird, new American girl that was so hopeless. Sigh.
Technologie was quite an interesting class. At least that day was. A girl in the column next to me helped translate what the teacher was asking me, because there were some issues relating to if I was in the right class. Boy, do I get that a lot. The girl (Clare, I learned) told the teacher I didn't speak French and was new. We had to spend like 10 minutes figuring out if I was in the right class, which I hated. I didn't dare look at the other students, knowing they'd just give me intimidating, blank and/or non-helpful looks. I hated this. I was so non-inconspicuous. When the teacher asked my name, I told her and she had to write it up on the board. She left it there for the entire class.
The class itself wasn't that bad. I had to fill out more stuff about my name, date of birth, parent's jobs, etc. And the teacher just talked the whole hour. This one girl came in sort of late and could speak English so the teacher put her next to me. She was from New Guinea and was pretty nice I guess. She seemed somewhat hesitant to talk/sit next to me, and I didn't blame her. Well actually I do. Because I mean seriously, these people didn't even know me, how could they think I was weird already?? Not fair. I asked her some stuff, like what the heck the teacher was saying once in a while. I could catch a few words, but there was like no way I could make out what she told me. We had to introduce each other, which sucked. I just said her name dumbly and where she came from, not with anything like, "and this is... and she lives in..." but whatever. I didn't fail I guess. We highlighted the vacations, and there were a lot of 'em. Yay... and then at the end she showed us drawings former students did with the word "technologie" on them and some theme. At the end I asked if we had any homework, and she said yeah we had to make one of those drawings. Geez. I was so clueless. It was as if the classes were in, like, a different language! Oh wait.

After that was finally my last class. Spanish. But I had to learn it in French. How lovely. At first I thought the room was in the L-building, but then it was in A. Ugh. So I went to the ENP secretary person again and asked which class I should go to, since again there were two. UGH. She didn't know, and just told me to go to one. So I went to the A building and tried to find A-15 or A-22. The hallways were dark. And there was no one there. But there was only like 5 minutes till class. What was with that? I hoped to god I wasn't late. I hate being late. I found A-15 with a teacher writing in it. I went in and asked if she spoke English. She did not. So I showed her my schedule and tried to communicate to her like, "Am I in your class??" She told me I was I think, 'cause I was 4G, but then told me to like wait outside or something. I barely understood her French. But I got that I had to wait outside. So I did. Then around when the bell rung, she went out of the class room and locked the door. What the crap?! So I figured, oh uh I guess I don't go to that class then. So I went back downstairs to see if I was in A-22. I found A-21 with a line of kids near it. But I was A-22. So I decided to just go back up, since also there were kids going up. And then they lined up near A-22. Joey came towards me and said, "Hey you're in like half my classes!" I was like, "Oh yeah cool," he said, "it's crazy," with a smile and went to the back of the line.
I walked in with the rest of the class, finding a seat in the middle row towards the front. The teacher was sort of short, with, again, blondish hair. This was my last class! W00t! And what a.. fun... day it had been. No one sat next to me in this class. Well, until the teacher switched the seats around a little. I was again not on the list, and we again had to fill out a piece of paper with our name, date of birth, etc. The one nice girl, Clare, again translated to the teacher that I did not speak French. Sigh. The teacher pretty much just talked the whole hour, and we did write in our planner-things a little. The girl next to me sort of told me what the teacher was saying a little, saying I needed a notebook and folder for Spanish. Ok. She also was talking to this girl in front of her. The girl was wearing a shirt that said "I only date Brits". Um yeah sure. But what really like.. freaked me out was that the girl she was talking to was like fluent in French, but then she started talking English and she was like... perfect. No accent really. Woah.
At the end of the class we had to get our text books at the library. Still raining. The library was to the right up a path. As I walked up the path, I walked behind Clare and her friend. Then as I went in, Clare turned around and said, "Hey if you need any help with like the supplies or something, feel free to ask," I was so taken aback. This was like, an overdose of niceness. Way overdose. I just said, "Oh uh I think I know the technologie homework and stuff," She then said, as we climbed up the steps, "Ok but if you need anything don't hesitate to ask me," I said thanks a lot and she said no problem. Wow.
The librarian said some stuff in French that I sort of caught. Again, no one sat next to me (we sat at these tables with 3-4 chairs) until this other group of kids came in and this older guy sat down next to me. I had to get like 10 text books. At this time it had started really pouring. Then it thundered really loud and the girls screamed. I looked over at Joey and we started laughing. It was actually quite funny. Anyway. We all hurried to write our names and stuff in them and I didn't even really get the directions. Luckily Joey wrote down what I was supposed to do, so I'll have to do that later. Then we had to like rush outside, me carrying 5 textbooks in my right hand and opening an umbrella with my left hand. It was really pouring. These American kids walked past me, one of them asking if they could borrow my umbrella. I was just like, "No...." and kept walking. There were a lot of puddles. I wasn't even sure if I could go home. I saw Clare and people go to the A-building, but I didn't know if they were like going inside to get out of the rain. I really, really, really just wanted to frickin' get home to my frickin' home like right now, but I didn't want to get in trouble. When I am in problems like this, I talk out loud to myself. I say stuff like, "Ok well those people are going there, but like... I just want to go home. You know what? Just screw me missing a class. I don't give a crap. I want to GET. HOME." I talk in a sort of whisper, and no one was close enough to hear me.
I decided to just go home. And I had made the right choice, because I saw Joey outside waiting. I waved and muttered, "see ya," which he returned. Then I started one of the best, and maybe worst, walks I ever had.

No one was near me and it was raining. It was raining hard. My shoes were soaked, having breathing holes. My right arm really hurt from carrying the textbooks so I switched to my left. At the crosswalk near the school I started singing. The first song that came to mind was "Singing in the Rain". No one could hear me and I didn't even care. Then I sang Ruler Of Everything, parts of Rain by the Beatles, Spring and a Storm by Tally Hall and Bicycle Race. I was sort of happy. I was sort of soaked. I was sort of frizzled by my new school and lack of friends. I was sort of really really worried about tomorrow. I was sort of really dreading and hating this school. I was sort of really really missing my friends. I was sort of really really wanting to get home. I was sort of really really wanting to go to Slauson. I was sort of sad. I was sort of happy.

Weird stuff, eh?

When I got home I put down my backpack and drank hot chocolate, talking to my mom about school. Zach was reading Harry Potter. Then I blogged. No one's on chat or anything. They won't be on for about an hour.

In a way that school day sucked. But I had an excuse. I mean, it was my first day ever in a foreign school. I hated it, but then looking back it's not too bad.

Time seriously goes by fast. And although my experience in technologie was rather embarassing, it passed. It's over now. And it might be in my memory, and the other kids' memories, but hey- like that one French dude said, "Life is good,"

At least when I come back school will seem so easy

Long story short- I pretty much hate my classes/school. Expect full story with detail after I get out of school today. I'm writing this on my lunch break, and have to go back to school at like 1:30 or something. I have about 30 minutes. At least I only have tech ed and Spanish, both in French. How. Lovely.

You think 8th grade at Slauson is "hard"? *snort

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Nostalgia, an overdose of

Boy, today went by fast. And it's not even really over. I didn't have school today (obviously) but I do have my first day tomorrow. Eh. All it will be is orientation, but the English classes don't start for a few weeks. I'll really try hard to make some friends soon.

Tonight from 10:15-11:15 is my first hockey practice!! Yay!! I got a stick today, too. It's wood, blue and white and made by Sher-wood. I think the flex is like 40 and we had it cut to my size. It's pretty cool. I also got a street ball and I played around with them at this playground. I went around the neighborhood a bit looking for places to shoot on and whatnot but didn't really find a good place. It's raining. My dad still needs equipment. I can't wait for the practice! I haven't gone to an ice rink in a while. It'll be so fun. 

It's almost impossible to not associate hockey with smell...s. We looked inside my bag for the missing helmet parts, but didn't find anything. Our noses did find a bunch of... erghy smells. Brought back so many memories. I've only had one hockey season, but that familiar whiff of sweat, leather, perhaps blood and maybe some barf mixed in there, greeted my nose and reminded me of Sloane telling jokes in the lockerroom, Doug dancing to Sydney's iPod, coach Kate's harsh words, how I would always be so worried before a practice and game, Charlotte barfing in the trash can and playing the game anyway, no one talking to me in the practice, learning cross-overs with Doug, the memories go on and on. Ah. 

We also had dinner with our other friends last night. It was cool. The family was the dad who worked with CERN, the mom who had talked and helped my mom and their son Simon who's a senior. Man, it would SUCK to have to spend your senior year in high school in a different country. Geez. But he was cool. We played this surgery game on adultswim.com which was fun. And then had a very interesting discussion after dinner. I learned that McCain's running mate's daughter was pregnant and 17. We had a big discussion about that. It was cool I guess. 

I'll write a lot about my first day of school tomorrow and the hockey practice I guess. I learned that Ms. Smith said stuff about me. Like how your last concert at Slauson will be sooner than you think or something. I feel honored. I so wish I was there. I think band is 8th hour this year. I so wish I was there. Again. 

Hey, I found this cool thing on Sher-Wood's site where you can customize goalie equipment and stuff. Check it out if you want. 

I don't know if one of my friends is reading my blog anymore. I read her old posts today, which was cool. It's amazing how someone/something can change so much. 

GO BLUE!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

French Tests

I woke up at 8:40 or so, expecting Zach not to be here because this was supposed to be his first day of school. But I looked in his room (his door was open) and he was there on his laptop as always. Hmm. I poured myself a bowl of Special K-like ceral and put a whole layer of thin banana slices over the top. Then I grabbed the pamphlet about the school and read it while eating outside. It was a nice day. After washing the dishes while listening to some Miles Davis, I turned on the laptop while my mom called the school. She told me Zach had gone to the school and the guy told him he wasn't on the list. So my mom called this person and they helped clarify it. He had done like the wrong tests or something. I dunno. So then she talked to our friend Helen, who was the woman who came over with her kids to help us with the school supplies. I was just on facebook and whatnot while all of that happened. My tests were at 1, so I had like a few hours. I wasn't that worried, but still had the "unknown" factor against me. I didn't know what would be on the written test, what it would be like, etc. But I was doing ok. I browsed bumper stickers for a while on facebook and then it got to be pretty close to 1. My mom had bought me an alarm clock, so I put the batteries in and set it. It was around 12:15 then. After realizing that, I started to go in "crap its soon" mode. My mom made me a smoothie, which I drank quickly, leaving white foam stripe above my lip. I washed that off and put on my shoes.
"Come on mom, we have to like go... now!" It was 12:26 and I didn't want to be late. My mom put on her shoes quickly and told me we were driving. I didn't want to kill any polar bears, but we would get there in a while if we walked.

As we approached the school, I noticed small clumps of teenagers hanging around the building. It was their lunch break, my mom said. Zach would have been with these people but he wasn't on the list.

We walked up to the outside office thing next to the gate entrance. The lady told us the French tests were in the College, which we could've figured out. So we walked down the yellow steps and walked toward this small building ahead of us. I could see some kids around my age waiting around here.
"Parlez vous Anglais, anybody...?" (Do you speak English) My mom inquired the two moms each with their daughter sitting down in the room. One of them, on the left, said yes and my mom asked what we were supposed to do. The lady said the person told them to just sit and wait for the teacher to call us. So I sat down on the empty chair while my mom sat on this low table. We waited for a while. The room was white, with two abstract art paintings on the wall. There was a small hallway to the right. I had my pencil case, cahier de bouillon (a book of grid paper), a ruler and a triangle to write right angles with. Then my mom asked the ladies again if I needed a passport. The other lady said yeah you have to have some form of identification. So then my mom had to drive back to our house to get my passport. It was like 12:47 or something, so she sort of had to hurry. I wasn't that worried.
After she left, a whole bunch of people came in. I recognized some of them from the English tests. Then the teacher person came in, rattling off some random stuff in French to someone. He was tall, had a slight potbelly, light hair and was clean-shaven. He looked almost German, or like that one character I forgot... ugh. He started saying names, or I assumed they were names because a kid would come up after each one and line up in the hallway. Crap. My mom wasn't here. The door opened a few times, and I'd look over, desperately looking for the curly black hair of my mom. She still wasn't here. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. I thought, hoping I didn't need the passport right away. And it'd still be nice to have my mom here because I noticed pretty much every other kid had a parent with them. Crap.
After a few names, I recognized mine and walked out from behind a parent to line up against the hallway. There were about 15 or so other kids, around my age. The guy was still saying names and then told us something about the schedule. Then I noticed my mom, and tried to catch her attention. I jutted out my chin and widened my eyes. After she quickly glanced through everyone, she finally caught my eye and came over. She held a black zipper pocket thing and handed it to me, telling me to be really careful. Yeah, I would, I told her. Her hand was held out for me to shake and she wished me good luck. I shook it and smiled at her.
The parents were sort of confused after he told them something about the schedule and asked him what he said. My mom came up to me in the line again and told me that apparently, if the parents understood right, I was testing straight through, not going home between them. Which sort of sucked. But they were only supposed to last till about 3:45, which wasn't too bad.
After the parents left, the teacher guy came through the line and told us, in French, to follow him. The school seemed small. Only like 2 floors I think. Walls were plain white and I didn't see any lockers. Bathrooms weren't marked and the doors had labels like "L 26". We walked for a little bit and then stopped in a pile while he called off names for the people going into "L 22". The other door, about a foot down the hallway was "L 24". My name wasn't called for the first one, so I went with him and some other kids into the farther one. This one had some posters on the walls and the desks were again in groups of two connected. I noticed an old newspaper clipping on the wall and I started trying to translate the French into English.
"Nous sommes" I knew "nous" meant "we", and I thought "sommes" meant something like "are" or "will". It said something about Allemange, which was Germany. Eventually I made it out to say "We are at war with Germany!" which made sense. I was proud of myself.
I sat down towards the back and put my stuff on the desk. There were a few windows I think on the left side.
The man said some stuff in French, and I caught that he wanted us to have a "stylo" (pen) with ink, not a pencil. I brought out my erasable pen and got ready for the test. He passed out paper and told us about the test. There was a cover sheet, which I filled out with my name, date/place of birth and all that. It had the sections in French, but English translations in parenthesis. The test was only 2 pages and seemed ok. The guy wrote on the board that we had 45 minutes for both parts. He knew a lot of English so it was pretty easy to understand him.
I read the directions of the first part, not even having a nervous stomach or shaky hands. The directions were in French but I think it said something like, "It's your first time in France. Something something something... have a journal, write about something" or something. Then it had 5 pictures of a taxi, a hotel bed, French cheese, a sandwich and a camera. I thought it said something about describing the pictures or something, and how it relates to my trip, so I started out with "Le taxi est jaune" which meant the taxi is yellow. Ha. I couldn't really think of how to describe or whatever the other pictures, so I read the directions for the second part. I read a letter that said something like "I am spending vacation in Paris and we'll see churches, the Eiffel Tower, etc. Tell me if you can come so I can make reservations. From Phillipe". And then I thought that the directions said to reply to Phillipe, saying I couldn't come and giving reasons why. My letter was quite pathetic. I just said, "I'm sorry but I can't accept your invitation. I am having vacation in the United States. I know that Paris is very, very good and the U.S. is very, very, very good. Again, I am sorry. I am having fun in the U.S. Have fun in Paris! Have a good vacation!" I know, sad, isn't it? But I knew very little phrases so it was pretty hard. I noticed it had to be 60-80 words, so I counted it and it was around 70. Good. In between the tests, the guy came around and took my passport. After writing down some stuff, he gave it back to me, saying "Merci, Amelia" I just nodded.
So then I went back to the first part. I decided to just describe how the pictures revolve in my day. So I said, "After the taxi, I go to my hotel. It is comfortable. After the hotel, I eat French cheese. It's very very good! I eat the sandwich with French cheese. It is very good! The cheese is for breakfast and the sandwich is for lunch. After breakfast and lunch, I take pictures of my sandwich, the cheese and the hotel for you. France is very good!" Yeah. Pathetic. But I actually had some fun with the test in a way. Again, I knew very few phrases and just did what I could. I remembered the guy saying that if we didn't understand, we just left it blank. But I wasn't giving up that easy. I tried. I really did.
I counted my words and wrote it down, erasing some because it was too long. I pivoted my head around to check out the other students. Their heads were all bent down, writing on the test. After looking around at the posters they had up, the teacher said we had 5 minutes left. I counted my words again just to be safe and capped my pen. He then collected the tests and said something in French that left us all sort of confuzzled. I looked around at the other kids with a confused expression on, trying to get someone to tell me what the heck he just said. Eventually he said a word I understood, "chaise". Chairs. We brought out our chairs into the hallway then and sat down. The kids in the other room also came out and the teachers called a few kids to take the oral test. I just sat there, hoping I'd get to do my oral test soon.
But that was not the case. As I looked around at the school, it was never my turn it seemed. I was bored. It was quiet. Quiet except for this Asian guy talking to his sister quietly, two brothers with cool hair laughing amongst themselves (they spoke English too) and when a teacher would come out to ask for someone. And then kids occasionally walked past us, yelling or whatever. It was quite boring.
Then it was 3:05; I had been sitting there for an hour. I wasn't nervous or nothing, I just wanted to have my turn for whatever. The brothers with the cool hair then started drawing on each other's skin with the rulers and whatnot. Then one of them was bending over, laughing hysterically. I glanced over a few times and couldn't help but smile myself.
I didn't talk to the other kids. There were maybe 20-25 or so. Some of them took out their passports to look at. The guy next to me on my right was from Nigeria. The guy on my left was from Canada. His picture didn't look like him hardly at all. Weird. Earlier I had seen a girl with a New Zealand one. Cool. I brought mine out eventually.
My picture wasn't the best. But it wasn't too bad. Then all of a sudden it smelled like apples. I put my passport back and stared at the floor. Suddenly I remembered my friends who were at Slauson with their first day of school. I heard a teacher's voice in my head saying, "Well welcome to 8th grade! You guys are finally the big cheese, aren't you?" I was mad. I didn't want to be here. I want to do band. I did two hard years of Slauson and I don't get a ceremony. I felt like clenching my fists. I was so mad. This sucked. This was so stupid. Who gives a crap about a "good opportunity"? I had a great opportunity to have fun with my friends at Slauson! I had an awesome opportunity to study trumpet more! This. Sucks.
Another hour passed. I still wasn't called. The one male teacher had let these two girls home after they did their math and oral test. I so envied them. I had been waiting 2 hours. Finally, FINALLY the guy called my name. I got up and sat down across from his desk, putting my stuff down. Apparently I looked nervous, because he told me to take a deep breath and relax several times throughout the test, which I did. I didn't feel too nervous, I was just annoyed. He asked me what my name was, where I was from and all that. I understood most of the questions, and it helped that he used English almost more than half the time. He was surprised I played ice hockey, because he thought it was too tough for girls. Man, I get that a lot. He also thought Zach's name was Isaac, but I corrected it. It was pretty easy. He thought I looked nervous a lot because he wanted me to take deep breaths a lot. Then he said something like, "Just relax, you know. We are not like-" he glared and clenched his fists together, as if to demonstrate a strict or unpleasant environment. I was relieved. "Life is... life is well, you know? Just relax." He seemed pretty nice. He asked me what I didn't like about school, and I said tests. I hate tests. He also asked what my mom did for her job, and I told him she wrote plays. He put on this very suprised expression and made quite a face. I felt like laughing.
At the end he told me I was going to be in the beginning French class and might have him as a teacher. He said there wasn't any shame being in the beginning class, 'cause like everybody has to start there. I was sort of surprised, but not necessarily upset. I mean, I did only know pretty much the basics. But that test didn't really test didn't seem that well-thought out to test someone's French ability. But whatever. After I closed the door I sat back down in the hallway, holding back a smile. I was happy for some reason.
I waited for another half an hour or so, until we all re-located to down the hall a little bit. He asked us to help put back the chairs and then he thanked us. I was getting hungry. The new place we waited at didn't have chairs, so I just sat on the floor with the remaining kids, about 10. There were lots of kids running through the halls every few minutes, and an annoying bell went off every hour or so.
After a little bit of waiting, while they called in 2 kids at a time, some parents came. The dad for the brothers with cool hair came and sat down in front of them. I was sitting right next to them, so I listened in to their conversation. The one brother had done the same thing I did for part one of the test; describing the pictures. But then the other boy told him those were just examples. Crap. So I had pretty much done it wrong. Maybe I failed. I hope not. But the guy said I was in the beginner's class, so I wasn't too bad. After a while the dad left. The teachers for the math test came out once in a while to tell the loud kids to shut up. They were trying to like climb the wall or something. Weird.
At 4:55 or around there I finally got my turn to take the test. I walked in the room, ready to be done with this whole thing. I sat down next to a lady and she wrote out a few problems in my bouillon. My brain had like forgotten a bunch of stuff so I was slow. I solved basic negative/positive problems, simplified fractions and did some geometry. I was so pathetic. I had lots of trouble simplifying this one fraction, and had forgotten that 12 went into 36. Ugh. I felt like an idiot. But I survived. I sort of sucked at geometry, because I forgot the names for the triangles. But whatever. Finally, finally I was done with everything. She told me to just wait for the school to tell me to come in, and I had gotten in to 4eme, the class I was applying for, which was good. I said bye and thanks and hurried out of that place. I had to go to the bathroom really bad. I had been needing to go for a few hours. I found my way back to the front door and found an open room with a sink. I thought it was a bathroom, but the sign said something that probably meant we couldn't use it. Crap. So I just ran up the yellow steps, walked past the clumps of high school students talking, then started running.
I ran because I could. I ran because I just wanted to frickin' get to my frickin' home. I just wanted to get out of that place, to go to the bathroom, eat some food and lie down. I wanted to go home. I had been there 4 hours. Taking stupid tests. I wanted to go back to Ann Arbor, too. I didn't stop running. I dropped my ruler and triangle by accident and had to stop to pick it up, though. I needed to go to the bathroom so bad I almost considered going behind a bush or something. God. I pushed the door buzzer and waited for a minute until my mother opened the door. I ran up the stairs, just wanting to get home. I dropped my stuff down somewhere and raced to the bathroom. Aah. Then I told my mom about the tests. And got on the computer quick so I could blog about it while I still remembered it. For a second I thought people might be on chat, but then they were at school. It's right now 1pm, so you guys probably had lunch. Tell me about your first day and stuff, guys. I just told you about mine. It was a long day.

After today, I felt like I could take on almost everything.

Monday, September 1, 2008

After two months, I'm still alive

Hey. Well. September, eh? I always trusted calendars, but last I checked it was like June 15th and I was going to Washtenaw Dairy with Becca, Anthony, Nick and Katie. So I'm a little frizzed by the fact that my watch says it is 9-01. But in a way I am glad about this new month to explore, experience, and live in. Like a fresh clean slate, with all of that boring French summer gruel scraped off. But then I have a whole layer of the unknown, the probably-hard, and a new school. My french tests are tomorrow and then I have a half day and orientations at school. My summer was... I don't even know what I did. I listened to my iPod, chatted till one in the morning, blogged, wrote stuff, uh.... ate good food. Studied french a little. I was bored. I was weird-ed out. I still am. Stuff happens fast. I miss my friends. I want to make some new friends soon.

After two months, the number of comments on my posts diminished to a lowly 1, or more commonly, 0. It would appear as though I lost some readers, (gasp!) the commenting readers left, people just don't feel like commenting, or a combination of those. But anyway. Thanks again to all of my readers.

So now on to September. One of my awesome, cool and best friends is having her Bat Mitzvah soon, which is awesome. Zach's birthday is soon, and he's going para-gliding which should be awesome. School starts, which means people yelling at me in French, new kids to meet, and a looooooooonnnnggg day. I'm trying not to worry about the French tests. In fact, I'm not worried. I know how to write like one sentence in French, but whatever. I'll learn a lot. I just have to remember that all of this is worth it. At least, that's what my parents told me.

My birthday is in about 4 months. I'm going to be an eighth grader. That is like... no. Me?? 8th grade?? I should think not! I haven't even gotten to the whole thing with me being in France, let alone me being in 7th grade. Enough of that.

I'm like addicted (obsessed, etc) to Panic! at the Disco. They are seriously awesome (to me). I put a few videos of them under the links section I think. I recommend checkin' them out.

Holy crap. My hockey season starts on Wednesday, and I still need a hockey stick.

Wait a second. What the heck?! Where is - ? Why the crap is-? How the heck !!!! WHAT IS THIS???!!?!?!

Alright sorry. That was just a weird-ed out attack. I get those a lot. Take just a minute ago. I was chewing a nectarine, then stopped suddenly. I realized that I was in France, I was 13, I had no friends here, my friends were over there and not here, I was sad, this was weird and I was hungry, so I continued eating after a little.

It's weird, man. You might not get it, but my brain is still........ being shocked by the current situation. Because I can't ignore the fact that there is a huge hole/gap in my life, being my friends not being here. And that hole/gap may or may not be eating away at me everyday, I'm not sure. It'd be really awesome if. It'd be really awesome if I had wings and flew over the Atlantic and saw Becca and Anthony and Erez and Oren and Chester and my other friends right now.

I think that if I got a hockey stick and/or Breaking Dawn, I would be less bored. I don't like it when you treat someone who you would like to be treated, but they don't treat you how they would like to be treated back. Ugh.

Odd.