Without Lessons

{No title yet}

Put on some Mraz, he fascinates
but how can you procrastinate your fate?
pick up the pen start scribbling
or the forget starts nibbling
let it go, it passes
like birds in the winter- masses
even if they don't care
dare to share
it's just you
no background music
trying not to lose it
quoting lyrics, using the fretboard
up and down with that chord
head-thrashing while they're cashing
in what they worked hard to get
over and over again- tours and hits
is this what it's all about?
what about real? what about fake?
amplify what you make
we get problems- so we write about 'em
after they come and go, some dumb
but I go with the fear, let it loose
I got ideas- do you?

::To be revised and etc.

I love being a musician. An artist. For some reason bringing in the "art" part of it makes it more... well, just that it's sort of a higher degree... better. More... just more. But I mean really, we're all artists, there are just those of us who recognize it. That amplify it. Literally and figuratively.

Today I jam'd with my dad again at CERN, and we recorded some of it. I played some drums, a tad of piano and some trumpet. It was actually rather awesome.

Tomorrow we shall wake up around 8-ish and drive for a while to this winter/skiing chalet place where we'll ski with Simon and stuff. Should be fun I guess. I guess I don't really have lots of plans for the break, except playing music, reading, HW, taking pictures, trying to wake up early and maybe hanging out with friends... yeah.

I guess with all this thinking about the end, one hardly notices the middle. And if you just pay attention to the middle, the end just jumps right up. But being in the middle and thinking about the end... and yet the middle too... everything seems weird. But nah nah. Maybe I'm in that weird place where you're suddenly used to being there, and then about to be surprised to actually go back.

I like wizard rock. I really dig that classic 1960's/'70's rock. I was reading some of John Lennon's part of the Beatles Anthology book, and it was rather interesting. It's amazing how... someone can just be so... blown up from the media, and sort of having been made a certain way from it, that we never really... they're not... . Celebrities are sort of treated like a different species in our culture. And yet in my saying that it's still stereotyping.

I want this guitar.

Colliding Neurons

The unthinkable happened, actually. The... unexpected thing I guess. So you know how I would always complain about the changing perspectives and all that? And how I just wanted to stay with one or whatever, probably the Ann Arbor one?

Yeah well guess what.

Well I sort of figured out my strategy, which was sort of to avoid the computer during the week, so as not to allow a "conflicting" perspective to sneak in. But then when I go back on to the computer and find out about all the wonderful happenings all of my wonderful happenings are experiencing, formerly and sort of still without my knowledge, I feel like screaming again, because yesterday I felt like I didn't want to go to back to Ann Arbor. Then I decided I actually did rather want to go home, because that would solve pretty much everything. Quick and painless. But nah, I just have to wait 5 in a half months to solve this thing. Which, for some reason, is somewhat okay with me.

In a way.

I just feel like, if there's no energy back there, and I have energy over here, it's almost not worth it. It's like.. why do I even bother feeling like this if my friends don't? But yeah I mean... whatever.

I almost hate the weekends now. I went to the French band practice. It actually wasn't too bad, but lasted from 8:30-10:30. I was zoning out. The conductor was actually pretty awesome. There were 6 trumpets, one sort of middle-aged guy that was really good that talked with my dad and I, two French teens, the American dude, me and Mary. The American dude had curly black hair and I noticed iPod headphones peaking out under his dark sweatshirt. He played the same part as me and Mary, and spoke fluent French. "So where were you before you came over here?" he asked conversationally while the conductor focused on a different section. "Uh... USA... Michigan," I replied, subconsciencely frittering with my second valve. "Michigan?" he cleared up, and I nodded. I nearly laughed when he pronounced it like "Mitchigan".

The pieces were not too bad; there were maybe 10 or so. We photo-copied them, and later I noticed they had a little box at the top saying Photo-copying is illegal! Woops. Most of them were English titles, like "Cutie Honey", "Robin Hood", "The Rock", "Music", "Sing, Sing, Sing", and maybe a few others. I played third part, which was actually somewhat hard. Well, this was only my first time playing them so I think I did alright. The conductor, a thin, tall French man with black hair, the kind that's short but sticks up sort of like a ledge on the forehead. He would periodically course his hand through it, singing the rhythm for the mistaken sections.

The band was moslty teens, and I was probably the youngest. But it also had quite... aged.. members. Two trombones to the right, then one French Horn on the end of the 3rd row. The first row had maybe about 5-10 flutes, and then the second row with clarinets. A young woman on the drums, who absoutely rocked. Bass section was mostly the older citizens.

So yeah it was ok I guess. The French, as I have mentioned, use "do re mi... etc" instead of the note names, so maybe I should work on that. Thank goodness music is written the same in every country, though.

This year's winter was pretty much the most unmemorable, at least on this side of the world. I envy you people with sub-freezing temperatures. No seriously. Even sub-zero.

I'm trying to read more. I was disappointed with The Lake House by James Patterson, which I just finished. It was...ugh. I definitely saw the improvement comparing it to Maximum Ride. Hockey was alright, and yeah and yeah.

This song.

blue ink #13

So guess what. No sport today! It's also raining. I was worried I'd be late this morning even though my dad drove me because he was going to hockey. The car just had to stop before a roundabout. But then he got it to work. Then after the bell rang, my classmates and I waited around for like 15 minutes until people decided she wouldn't be here. Turns out the guy last time was a sub- the real teacher, Madame Lacaille, broke her knee or something. And it also turns out I don't need two pairs of shoes! Bonus. And Claire said we stop wrestling after Christmas. Which means I'll only have like... 3 or 4 more wrestling lessons. Awesome.

Ugh but apparently the teacher is here but she's coming late. So I might have gym after all. Stupid system they have here. I could be home right now, sort of, except Olivia said I wasn't really supposed to and I'd "have to go discreetly". Gee, what a vocabulary, I thought.

I actually kind of like etude. Tuesdays are sort of terrible though because my lunch is only an hour, which means I race home and hastily gobble foodly items. Of course, I have about the same amount of time as I did at Slauson, but its not already made and all that.

Anyway. So I just got handed the name sheet thing where you have to write your name, class and whether you're normally in etude or not at this time. I tried passing it to the guy next to me but he said he already got it. No one seemed to.. have any interest for it so I just put it on an empty desk behind the guy next to me. Great... plan.

I've had Ben Folds/Five songs stuck in my head. Which is good. Right now its You Don't Know Me. ...or a cardboard stand-up and paint me (paint me) anything (anything)...

Just a random fact- OMG what is it with me?!?! My English spelling is messed up! I keep putting "e's" on the end of words. That wasn't the fact. The fact is that this is Day 139 and then there's only like 30 days till the break and then when I come back I'll be a little more than half-way. And also this my 45th day of school. I'ma study some FLE. Il est huit heures quarante.

Je fais

tu fais

il fait

elle fait

on fait

ca fait

nous faisons

vous faites

So I got yet another book to read- an autobiography by Martin Johnson, who's this famous English rugby guy. We have to read an autobiography for my English class. It's actually pretty good. He drinks a lot of beer it seems. It's weird though- they spell curb "kerb". So... different.

----------------------------

We have a new student in my FLE classes. She seems pretty nice... black hair, an almost stern face (but she smiles) and she has one of those like... fashion-type bags. She's from like Ecuador, but knows English pretty well. It was funny though 'cause when she first talked to M. Besson, Franz was like, "but she doesn't know English". I muttered, "...French." And then she said "Uh, yeah I think I know English," She's in troisieme (9th grade) but knows about the same amount of French as we do, maybe a little less. 

M. Besson seemed just plain delighted to let us introduce ourselves. We went around the room saying our name, class, age and what we liked. When it was my turn, I stood up and preceded to say in an almost painful French accent: "Eh, je m'appele Amelia, et j'ai treize ans... je suis en clase quatrieme G..." I was about to sit down when M. Besson asked me what I liked. "Uh, j'aime la musique," He asked me what kind- moderne, classique,... and I said the Beatles. At first he couldn't tell what I said but other people caught on and told him. Then he asked for my favorite song, and I thought. I kept thinking Hey Jude, but that seemed too... generic. I said I liked all the songs at first, then chose You Never Give Me Your Money. That's a really good song.

On the way home, I had organized with Zach to walk home with him. This might not seem like such a big deal or whatever, and it isn't, but its just... well, me and Z aren't the closest of siblings. I said hi to him and he said hi back. We sort of have a... habit of not normally saying hi to each other, but when one of us does the other either says hi or at least looks in the others' eyes for perhaps a second, or even might just mutter a "hmm". Zach rode his bike while I walked, and he actually rode alongside me. Mostly it was just awkward silence. I thought a lot, though. And what I was thinking about, you may ask? I was actually thinking about this blog post. I tend to plan out the writing in my head before typing it. Yup, that's right, folks, I actually spend time on this thing. Sure, I don't really go back to revise it, but some of those really long posts can take 2 or 3 hours to type up, so after all that work I just want to click Publish Post and be done with it. 

I saw a puddle ahead of me so tried jumping over it. Turns out water is slippery. So I slipped. And muttered a "eeeugghhh." and noticed my jeans got dirty and my knee smarted and felt weird. I saw no reaction in my brother, he acted as though he might not have seen it. We're a shy bunch. At least with each other. Zach actually asked me to wait for him though, which was like the longest sentence he had said to me since like ever probably. We probably saw about... oh, 300 words a year to each other. Mostly just grunts, half-hi/hello's and maybe the occasional smile, like when we're with Erez and Oren. Actually, that's the thing- when I'm with E and O it's like he's really my brother. I talk to him like I actually know what kind of music he likes, persay. 

Being the good sister that I am (that's half-sarcastic), I actually waited for him to put his bike away. I don't know if he'd do the same for me. He didn't say thanks. Not even a grunt, which would sound along the lines of "tah-n" or "hmm" or even "*cough thans". But whatever. I was "late"; I could've been in the apartment by now. Normally I'd have ran home, with thoughts of Maniac Magee running through my head. But whatevz.

My mom wants me to get a cellphone. I have probably mentioned this. Oh and it was almost creepy- Jess said that last Friday she went with her friends before FAT to the Hyper Champion (the place that got robbed) and they saw the security guard and his dog there, who would be killed the next day or something. So she was probably one of the last people to see him. Gee.

Somehow my posts become somewhat long. Agh, I just feel like talking a lot. I want to talk about this and- see? Ok ok. Jess asked if there were any good American schools for sports. I raised my eyebrows and said an exaggerated yeah. Yeah. She's quite sporty.

So I had my trumpet lesson today too... it was ok. My teacher has several trumpets; the first lesson he had a C one, then he had like.. something else and this one he had a Bflat. I have to play Getting Better and Get Back and this duet Bossa Nova. Not too bad. I think I've... sort of gotten worse. Well, I think I'm just not at my best. But there's reason for that. I should shut up. I think a lot of this in my head, and then tell myself to shut up there. And then I put it here, and all youse guys have to listen to me jamble and jarb. Gah. But then its like- ok I will save that thought for a different post. 

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired

I know, right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

Me

(Unwell by Matchbox Twenty)

"OH MY LORD"

I love the feeling when you get a lot of stuff done... so accomplished and.... it's just awesome. After practicing guitar for almost an hour today, it feels sort of weird typing. But its so fun to play. I've come to the "conclusion" that life is good. Yeah. I just got a letter from a dear friend who also SENT PICTURES which was like SERIOUSLY AWESOME. Omg. She is so nice. I could NOT stop grinning. It was so awesome to actually SEE people, you know? It's like... the best thing ever. I have to write a letter back soon. This is so cool! It's so fun to like... have more stuff outside of school. Trumpet, guitar, hockey and my friends. Speaking of which, I have hockey with the girl's team tonight, and no CERN practice. And I had an  hour lesson last night because I missed some. It was pretty cool. I sort of messed up a lot, but whatevz. My teacher, like I said, knows some English but will make mistakes like saying "I listen you". But I mean, that's probably what it's like for French people to listen to me. 

My mom says it just got really cold. Yay. Cool. And this family has bought tickets to come in April. And stoof. 

Well, Rianna, to answer your question, it's not really like that. I mean, people just sort of... express themselves like back there with shirts and whatnot, its not like there's exclusive groups or... really specific stuff or whatever. 

They call "slope" "gradient" over here in math. And they also call a linear equation/graph a straight line graph or something. Weird. Makes sense, but... less... mathematical I suppose.

Random question to ponder:

Should parents be allowed to teach their kids anything they want?

Dude. I SO need to get outside more. It's like sad. I say like too much too. 

Me: Wait so, Claire- do we have to like draw it?

Claire: We don't have to like draw it, we have to draw it. (laughs)

Me: (rolls eyes, laughs) Well... whatever.

Claire: (laughs)

It's like a bad habit. SEE?!??!?! 

Oh wait, did I tell you guys I finished Breaking Dawn? Well I did. It was... ok. I was wrong about... well, my hypothesis. It was pretty optimistic. I'm not sure I really liked how she ended it, but I guess it was just for our imagination. And I mean, after all that work you'd think she'd just want to be like... *describes quickly... one last sentence and done*. 

blue ink #11

You know what occured to me Well, before I get into that- this is my first paper in a new package! The other one ran out. It was really tattered. The new one is quite thick and nice 'n fresh. They have 200 pages. Anyway, I noticed that I hadn't really been paying attention to like... French culture much. Stuff like going to cafes, reading a (French) newspaper, just walking around town, etc. You know, I've only been to a cafe like once over here this year. I really should go to more or something. I guess it's just 'cause school takes up everything.

I actually want to try reading a French newspaper or something. Reading newspapers is actually pretty cool. And not on the Internet either- a real bunch of paper with ink.

Yesterday I was going to write in sciences physiques like I did that last time but the teacher asked if I wanted to try taking the test so I took it. It wasn't that bad. I didn't understand this one question so I left it blank. It had something to do with like perfume and a door or something. And then the last part was filling in the blank, but that was (too) hard for me in French. But I did learn the material (pretty much) so HA.

Ugh some kid put a big wad of gum on the back of my chair in French (the class I had before) so now my Strong Bad hoodie has some blue goo on the back. And to think- that was in someone's mouth. Uugggghhhh.

Dude I'm so tired. I stayed up till 11:30 chatting with my friends. It was worth it, though, 'cause like ten people got on. I'm also really hungry. I think I should just eat a bigger breakfast. Our cereals are so boring though- Corn Flakes, various forms of meusli and like... Special K.

First trumpet lesson tonight. I'm excited, sure, but I hadn't practiced for 3 days and I'm still sort of sick. But I'll just practice a little before. Trumpet is pretty awesome.

Yay the Rays won. So I might try to watch some games... or at least follow the scores. It's actually somewhat hard to follow American sports over here- I have to like majorly go out of my way to and I often forget about it.

It's la semaine de l'Europe (Europe week) at this school and they put up some flags and stuff. Yesterday I was talking to Jess and said, "Europe is a big continent," but was about to say "country". I should read now.

-------------------------------------------

On the way home from school, I walked with Claudia. She's in my FLE class and knows English, Portugese, Italian and is learning French. Wow. It was really cool to walk with someone- totally under-rated. I laughed a lot. And at school I told Jess and people that my iPod was named Melvin because I had brought it to school. That was cool. Walking by myself like sucks. But that was really cool.

I had 3 hours of FLE today, which is now like the best class. The lessons reminded me of a lot of band, because Monsieur Besson got side-tracked a lot (but not in a bad way) and he was in a good mood. One of his mini-lessons was like how we can understand something we'd never learned before because humans make connections. It was cool I guess. And he needed my cahier (notebook) for some reason, so I don't have to recite this one thing. Cool.

I have a big Spanish test on Thursday, but whatevs. I'll study sure but like i said, Spanish is not in high priority. It's just so annoying to have. I wish I could switch out.

Trumpet lesson was good. We were like 15 minutes late, after asking some people taking a break outside to smoke where this place was. It was a smallish building with really cool murals on 'em. The teacher came out to meet us. He seemed cool. Short black hair, slightly short. He knew English pretty well, but I had to explain a few vocabulary words. He said I should play louder. We played scales and Norweigan Wood, as well as Hey Jude, at which I was not very good at. But I hadn't really practiced it. I would play B flat instead of B natural, which is a common mistake. But I think I did ok. And he was a pretty pleasant guy. He was playing a C trumpet (we use B flat back in the States) so the fingering is all a-jumble-donk. But he could play pretty well. He plays in some opera. So, that was fun.

Ugh the Cross thing is tomorrow. But I can probably run ok. I think it's only like a mile or less. Last time I ran a mile (1600) was in 6th grade track and I got like 2nd to last place. But I had a cold. Eh. But yeah. And it's so annoying, because its the first two hours in the morning so it just misses me missing Spanish (as in, I don't have to skip Spanish). Ugh. Oh well.

I found out last night that my MyAccess acount had been deactivated. MyAccess was this thing for Language Arts class where we write persuasive essays and stuff. (It was really... ugh/stupid). But yeah. Whatever.

I really need to work on that documentary.

You guys should really check this out. It's QUITE funny. (Thank you Becca).

Allee le bleu!!!!

My knees slid on the carpet and I reached down, hastily grabbing at cards. There- get that one- uh oh is that someone coming- then adrenaline exploded through my body as a guy in a white suit and mask came walking near me. I got up and my legs ran like hell back to my hive. I handed the cards to Claire then hung out near the door. It was dark. Neon circles showed up in the absence of light, while smoke blew around and terrible heavy metal played rather loudly.

Aliens Strike Back thing. It was quite... wow. Not a whole lot of fun. I was pretty lonely at dinner while my friends sat in one of those big circle-groups. I didn't feel like doing that. But some counselor people came over and talked which was cool. The counselors there are actually really nice. They remember my name and make an effort to talk to me. And one time at the end one of them gave me a hug. How nice. 

Blue won. I was on blue. First I was on team pink, then some people asked me to change to orange, then someone wanted to switch with a blue. So there. I picked up cards mainly but didn't do any popping. We put a balloon (life source) on our back under our clothes and if yours got popped you went back to your hive (blue's was in the library which was near the sanctuary and pretty small) to get a new one. Boys could only pop boys, girls pop girls. I didn't get attacked at all, seeing as I mainly stayed within 20 feet of my hive. And I didn't even try to pop someone. 

It was weird, though because at the beginning we had to blow up balloons and guess what. I couldn't I just... couldn't. I would blow, and it wouldn't fill up. Kinda ironic, seeing as I can play trumpet but not blow a frickin' balloon. I think it's because I breathe through my nose (baaaaad habit I need to get rid of) when I play trumpet, so the air didn't actually go through my mouth really. Huh.

At the end I just walked home. We had my dad's collegue over and his girlfriend, who had both visited us here when we were here 4 years ago. Then I was tired and the Internet didn't work so I just went to bed. 

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Saturday was weird. For one thing, I was reeaaaaalllly tired when I woke up. I woke up at 8, but sort of just laid down. Then something really weird happened. I looked through the patio door-windows at the clouds. I stared for a while. And it seemed like... the clouds were moving. Now, I know what you're going to say- well, DUH, clouds, move!!!! But see, it was like... you could hardly tell. And there were just little patches of sky (hole in the clouds) so it was hard to tell. And then there was a bigger opening higher up, and it was almost freaky. Then there was this like rumbling sound. And it seriously was like... I dunno... something... not normal. And I remembered how Emma told me on Friday how the whole world had bet on aliens coming to Earth Saturday. 

It was pretty freaky, trust me. But I wasn't freaked out. I was too tired so my brain was just like, "oh. I see. Cool." To that sort of thing.

Sunday was better. I just had like a cold. I played hockey and did my homework. 

Argh. I did not get to work on my documentary. That was really bad. I so regret that. But I'll seriously try this week/weekend. 

Aaaaaand you guys I have news.

My first trumpet lesson is Tuesday at 7. I haven't practiced though since I've been sick, so my first impression might not be good. But eh whatever.

Turns out I CAN play with the women's team only on Wednesdays. Question is, do I want to? I already have school (of course), trumpet lessons and late hockey practice. So I might not. And plus, it was rather intimidating the last practice. Not that pleasant. And CERN is cool.

School does not get out July 4th as I stated before. It actually gets out July 2nd. Which makes life easier!!!!! That means we might actually leave July 3rd (making it closer to 365 days) which means less time here and yeah and yeah. So cool. I counted on my calendar that I have about 200 school days total. But only 180 left. Such a small number, I know. But yeah cool.

The daughter of the family that is taking care of our beloved Chesterton is living in Spain (she's like 18) and my mom wants to invite her for Xmas with us. I wouldn't really mind. That could be cool I guess. 

I got

Space by James A. Michener

It's ok so far.